Nightmare

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Zack

I drove around for a little while longer, trying to decide just what to say when I see Dez. I mean I am happy if she is pregnant. I've wanted kids my entire life. I guess Matt and Kat are right, an apology is in order.

I stopped by the flower shop buying two bouquets of roses, one pink, one blue for Desiree. I also went buy and grabbed some pizza for dinner praying she didn't already cook.

I still didn't know what to think, and I guess I should talk to her. Apologize for leaving and give her a chance to explain her side of things.

It's not like I wanted her to get rid of the baby. I mean I told her I wanted one, and now ready or not I was getting one. Of course I would be there for my child, I wasn't that type of person. I would just explain to her that the surprise of it all just shocked me.

I pulled in the drive way and notice the house was awfully dark. There were no lights on shining through the windows, she didn't even turn on a porch light. Maybe Dez was resting. I know pregnant women are always really tired. She's also been really lethargic lately so that was probably it.

"Dez" I called walking in, but there was no answer. I set down the roses and walked out getting the pizza bringing it into the kitchen.

When I walked upstairs into my room, it was obvious something was off. First of all, Dez wasn't curled up asleep on the bed. She wasn't in here and the bathroom light wasn't on. I turned on the lights and looked around. Things were missing.  Normally Desiree had a pair of those fuzzy boots she wore around the house by the bedroom door, and they were gone. So was her favorite sweater that was usually hanging off of the bathroom door.

I checked the closet to confirm my suspicious thoughts, and sure enough her belongings were gone. So was everything off of her nightstand. She had left.

She left, fucking packed her shit without saying a word and hauled ass.

I slapped the wall pissed walking back downstairs throwing the fucking roses in the trash. So much for a fucking apology.

What the fuck was she playing at? Tell me she's pregnant and just because I left for a few hours pack her shit and leave? Who the fuck does that shit?

I mean seriously this is the second time she's just fucking ran out on me. How dare she? I mean Yeah I freaked out a little. Who the hell wouldn't but I was all geared to come in an apologize. Let her explain to me how it all happened. What she expected from me.

I wanted her to give her the benefit of doubt but apparently I was absolutely right.

She didn't want this fucking baby. I guess sometime this week I would get a call telling me that she had gotten rid of this one too. I guess now she would have to cover up her lies.

How could she just leave like this? Don't I get a say? I mean damn if she didn't want a baby she could have said it. She didn't have to go through the charades of telling me another sob story.

I would have completely understood if she just told me hey, I don't think I want to have a baby. I don't want to be a mother. I could have respected honesty and learned to accept it.

She didn't have to fucking lie. If it was because of Jimmy then she could have told me that too. Just come out and say, look I really loved Jimmy and I wanted that baby but he didn't so now I don't want any at all and left it up to me to either accept it or move on.

But did she? No, of course not. No, instead she made me believe she loved me. She led me on thinking that she wanted a child with me. Now, she is pregnant so she fucking leaves? Really.

Fuck it I guess, right? Her body I guess she can do what she wants to with it. But she really didn't have to drag me a long in the process. Maybe every woman on this planet is just like Rachel.

A fucking lying bitch.

This was all way too easy, Desiree had to have lied about something. I know she had the abortion. Otherwise there would be a baby somewhere and her body would have shown the signs of a previous pregnancy. I have seen her completely naked multiple times there were no stretch marks. So the abortion happened.

So maybe she lied about the whole doctor fucked her up. She had to have that's why she left. Oh make me feel sorry for her because she tells me that her body is damaged, that if I really wanted her to try for a baby then it would be a long hard process. Maybe the doctor's appointments were to get rid of birth control.

She probably wasn't expecting to be pregnant so fast and now she is. How had she fooled Kat? Was the doctor in on it.

Speaking of Kat, I needed to call her. She needs to know how her little poor pitiful friend just ran off on me. Just packed all of her shit pregnant with my baby and hauled ass.

Wait what if she really isn't even pregnant. What if she had somehow made a test printed it somewhere from the internet and showed it to me. Maybe that's it. Maybe she isn't even pregnant at all. And since I didn't give Desiree the response she was probably hoping for she left me.

Who the fuck knows, all I do know is she is fucking gone and now I don't know what the fuck to think.

I grab my phone, going through my contacts I have to voice my frustrations to someone, anyone.

"Yes?" Kat answers sweetly

"Where is she Kat?" I demand, forgoing pleasantries.

"Desiree?" Kat asks me confused "She's gone?"

"Yeah she's fucking gone." I snap.

"No joke?" Kat questions me, obviously shocked.

"Does it sound like I am fucking kidding?" I spit "So much for fucking flowers and dinner."

"Maybe she just went out for a drive" She whispers "To clear her head"

"What with all of her shit?" I ask annoyed

"She took all of her stuff?"

"Kat I just fucking said that" I groan "I come home to a dark house and she took all of her shit. She's gone. What the fuck?"

"What did you expect Zack?" Kat questions me annoyed "Honestly? She was all excited to come home and tell you she's pregnant. What do you do? You bail as soon as the words leave her fucking mouth."

"Do you even know if she is actually pregnant?" I thunder "Did you go in with her to that appointment? Are you even sure she saw a fucking doctor?"

"I know she saw the doctor." Kat yells back "You know what, good for her if she left your sorry ass. Look how you're acting after all she has been threw."

"Oh yeah all she has been threw" I laugh sarcastically. "Oh yeah terrible Jimmy just ruined her."

"That's too far and you know it" Kat snaps "I hope she doesn't come back. You don't deserve her. You are on your own from now on. I refuse to help you anymore."

"Help me? Seriously?" I laugh again "What do you think I need help with? She's probably going to kill this baby too if there even is one."

"You're disgusting Zack" Kat hisses "Good night"

The line goes dead.

Yeah of course I should have known better than to call Kat. Of course she would take Desiree's side. She was just like Dez, keeping secrets. That's all women ever did was keep secrets.

Fuck them.

Fuck Desiree. Whatever she does I hope she realizes she's going to be doing it alone. I won't stand by her side while she kills another baby.