Nightmare

Chapter Forty-Two

Zack

"I guess so" Dezzy murmured rolling her eyes at me when I stated we needed to talk.

"Well you want to go home?" I ask her "And talk?"

"No" She snaps shaking her head "I am not going to your house"

"Why?" I demand

"Because I don't want to be anywhere I am not wanted." Dezy hisses rolling her eyes again.

"No one ever said you were not welcome" I mutter annoyed, my temper already flaring.

"Actions speak way louder than words" Dez barks pushing past me out of the bathroom.

"Don't walk away from me" I yell after her "We need to talk"

"And you need to realize you're a selfish prick" She snarls facing me "You're selfish. You're a selfish asshole who needs to grow up."

"How the fuck am I selfish?" I spit

"Really? Desiree yells "Are you fucking that dense you can't even see you're that selfish? Or is that your immaturity? A combination of both?"

"I have no fucking clue" I snap "None why don't you quit being unreasonable, and sit down have a talk with me instead of a shouting match in the middle of a fucking hallway"

"Why do you want to talk now?" She demands her hands on her hips "Why now? Why didn't you want to a month ago? Or a week ago? Or yesterday? Why now? Because Matt knocked some well needed sense into you?"

"Because I want to" I yell "I want to talk to you. I want answers. I deserve answers."

"Who gives a fuck what you deserve" She snarls again "You didn't give a rat's ass about what I deserved."

"Well if you would've been there when I got home you would've seen I was sorry." I snap as she starts walking away "I bought you roses. I brought home dinner"

"Let's throw him a fucking party" She laughs "He brought home roses after abandoning his pregnant girlfriend"

"I didn't abandon you" I yell following her out the front door.

"What the hell do you call it?" She asks me suddenly turning around.

"I freaked out" I shrug "I mean you come home and you're pregnant."

"Yeah because you wanted me to be" She laughs again "And you freak out. It's what you said you wanted."

"Well I thought" I start but I'm not even sure how to articulate how I feel

"You thought what?" Desiree asks me, glaring daggers threw my body

"I don't know" I finally admit "I don't know. I mean you said you couldn't have a baby and then you're pregnant."

"Because you wanted me to do fertility treatments." She yells looking annoyed "I didn't think I could, I told you the truth. I told you this wouldn't be easy. And what you only told me you wanted me to try because you thought I couldn't actually do it?"

"I don't know" I shrug

"Do you know a fucking thing?" She demands "Do you? Do know anything?"

"Quit being a bitch" I snap "There's no need for it."

"There's plenty of need for it!" She yells "I do what you claim you want me to do and I am being punished for it. You're just like fucking Jimmy."

"I am not." I yell "I didn't make you have an abortion. If he even made you at all."

"Are you fucking serious?"She snaps

"Yeah I am serious." I yell

"You knew him!" She screams "You know he never wanted kids. DO you think I planned that on my own?"

"I don't know" I shrug "I mean I wasn't there. He never said anything"

"Of fucking course he didn't" Desiree snaps "He was embarrassed and selfish. Just like you."

"I am not embarrassed" I yell "Or selfish"

"You are" She snaps  "Look at your behavior. You get what you say you want and now you don't want it."

"Who said I don't want this baby?" I ask "I never said I didn't."

"Your actions say otherwise. You haven't once asked how this pregnancy is going" She yells "You haven't attempt to even cared to try."

"How could I?" I demand "You left. You didn't tell me where you went. You didn't care to even tell me a damn thing."

"How could I?" She asks me "You made it very clear you thought I was a liar, you thought I was going to have an abortion. Oh yeah so easy to talk to you."

"I was fucking freaked out." I yell "I didn't know what to believe."

"You believe the person you claim to love." She snaps.

"Yeah okay you're right." I agree "I should have handled things better."

"You think?" Dez counters

"Stop being so bitchy" I shake my head

"Why because you don't like it?" She demands "I forgot all about fucking Zack."

"You know what you're not a fucking saint either" I yell "I mean you're the one who actually fucking moved out. I just left for a little while. You moved the fuck out."

"Oh yeah because Zack is a fucking saint I forgot" Desiree rolls her eyes "It could be of no fault of his own. I mean his actions couldn't possibly have consequences. Every action has a reaction in case no one has ever told you."

"I already said I didn't handle myself well" I snap at her "But you could also admit you didn't"

"I had every right to leave" Desiree yells at me

"Really? With no explanation?" I counter

"What explanation?" She demands "You left, you made it clear you didn't want this baby. I do."

"You don't think you should have explained to me how this even came about?" I ask her

"Seriously" She laughs "You can't be serious"

"I am serious" I snap "You know I am."

"Where the hell were you when Dani and Kat were injecting me with treatments?" She yells "That were your fucking idea"

"Actually if you remember correctly I never saw them shoot you up with a fucking thing" I smile "Not once. You wouldn't let me."

"You didn't ask" She snaps "You didn't care enough"

"I asked to go to appointments." I yell "I asked to help you"

"You asked once" She yells "And why would I want you to come? So every check up you could be there to witness my failure?"

"But you didn't fail" I smile "You got pregnant"

"Yeah and that has been working out so fucking well" She laughs.

"It looks like it." I point at her small little pudge "You have a baby growing in there"

"Yeah your baby" She sighs "That you don't want"

"Quit saying that" I snap "I want it."

"Yeah you're acting like it" She yells

"For fuck's sake shut up" I snap

"Make me" She snarls

I can't help but laugh as a memory of our very first fight as a couple comes to mind, the last time she told me to make her shut up.

I kissed her.

Then fucked her senseless.

"Quit fucking laughing" She yells stomping her foot.

"Fuck it" I laugh

I lean in and kiss her.