So much in one, love me
Part 1: Odd Things Kaiba Says 2:
"People my age have children what the hell I am a children"
"Bisexual means you can only like two things, and I have chosen card games and dragons"
"Life hack, just start stealing shit"
"Only weak people don't wear trench coats in summer" (proceeds to pass out from heat exhaustion)
"I suffer from that syndrome that your neutral expression makes you look like an angry serial killer"
"'No homo' is probably the most disappointing thing to hear sometimes like no homo? At all? Not even a little homo?"
"Don't you hate it when your money goes away after you spend it"
"To my little brother, I leave this picture of a sweet dragon I found on Google images when I typed in cool dragons"
"My anaconda will take whatever it can at this point"
"I don't consider myself hip. More like... shoulder. Mokuba disagrees, he said "no, you're an ass""
"If you ask me to go to the park and just swing, I will literally go and swing for 5 hours, do not test me"
"You sit down to watch the Lion King with me. I point out that leafcutter ants do not live in Africa within the first five minutes. You begin to realize that you've made a terrible mistake. I continue to point out that every usage of a tiger's roar instead of a lion's. You are at the door, but its locked"
"Sometimes Mokuba will go on club penguin and trick a bunch of guys into thinking he's a girl and he'll make them think they're dating and then he'll have them meet him at the same place at the same time and watch them get into fights about who's girlfriend he is and that's how my little brother became a cross dressing evil mastermind pimp on club penguin"
"Being a brother is tough *sets groceries on counter and sighs with a smile* that's why I sold my brothers"
"*holding a newborn child* what are its stats"
"Be thankful you are blessed with bacon"
Part 2: Odd Things Kaiba Does:
*tries to open a bag of chips quietly at a funeral*
*brings get well soon balloons to funeral*
*is generally a disturbance at a funeral*
Part 3: Kaiba's Details On A Dating Website (That Mokuba Forced Him To Do):
"Friendliness is not one of my more organic attributes"
"At last after 485 years I have awakened"
"I am a gentle cutie with the power to summon ambulances"
"Honestly, I'm mostly looking for food"
"I've tried cooking once and now four people are dead"
"How am I to distinguish between you, an 'average' build woman and a well disguised grenade?"
Part 4: Things Kaiba Genuinely Looks Up:
"My little brother is a failure. How do I deal with the remorse?"
"1v1 scrublord I bet you won't?"
"How do you tell if your goldfish is gay?"
