Rejecting Hope (Old Copy)

Chapter Thirteen - "People Don't Understand." <3

         Authors Note - Pay close attention now, this chapter is very important to the story for it is this memory alone that haunts Ariana the most. You'll find out later on just how important this chapter is... just remember that I said this.

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            (Ariana)

       "No! Leave mommy alone! Ah!"  Hitting me hard, I fall to the ground as little blond ringlits scatter across my vision. There was a loud horrendous crack and my hands shoot up. I begin to cry as a warm crimson liquid seeps it's way down my face and over my lips.

            "My nose..."

      "Ariana!" My mother lunges forward to protect me. When out of no where!

                                                                     *Slam*

             That was all it took, to completely stop my heart from beating. With a thud, she lands upon the ground as a broken wine bottle falls from his bloody hands. "Mommy?" I cry as I crawl towards her limp body. But before I can even reach her, father takes me by the neck and shoves my face down into the broken glass that is shattered upon the ground. "Ahh! Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!"  Eventually, he lets go, "What happened to being worried about your mother you little worthless bitch?" I ignore him as I cry and curl myself into a fetal position.

             "Stop worrying about that little ugly face of yours and answer me!" Abruptly he kicks me in the stomach, I cry harder as he starts to kick me over and over again, relentlessly. "I was just worried about mommy! Stop it!!! I'm sorry! It hurts... i-it hurts... it hurts." Abruptly the beating stops. But the worst has yet to come, for not only did he scar me physically. But he scared me emotionally, as well. There is always silence before the storm. He walks towards the door when I stop him, "Wait! Why don't you love mommy or me any more? Just tell me! What did we do wrong?"

                That was my mistake.

         He stands there in complete silence for a few seconds, leaving me leaning on edge for what he is about to say. "You and your mother were a huge mistake, I know that now. She never lived up to my expectations and as for you...." He turns around to look me in the eyes when snatches me by the face. I squirm as he forces me forward, towards him until our noses touching. I squeal in pain for he is not careful with my bloody and wounded face. "Shut up!" He screams at me, his horrid voice leaving a ringing sensation throughout my ears and eyes and I shut my mouth, afraid of this absolutely horrible monster before me. My heartbeat is breaking and bursting through my chest! It's screaming, crawling, lurching and ripping it's very own way out! Oh, how I wish I can just scream! Of how it hurts! It hurts. It hurts... 

                He smacks me once more, my eyes widen and everything goes silent.

      "You are the ugliest thing, that I have ever seen." I couldn't believe him. "Aeh!" I cry, breaking down harder and harder with every passing second. Trying so hard to restrain the tears, to be strong enough not to cry. But of course, I am weak... Because even after all of these years, everything was a lie. I close my eyes to see a once loving father pushing me upon a swing set. "You're beautiful Arie, don't let anybody ever tell you otherwise!" I never thought that someday, that person would be you.

             

                                                         It was all a lie then, wasn't it?

                  He jerks my face sideways one last time as he stands up and leaves me there to cry, sauntering off towards the door. "You don't deserve the love of anyone, and what creature can possibly even love something as worthless as you. For you are nothing more than a worthless piece of trash. Nobody will ever love you and if they do, than obviously it's a lie. Trust me Ariana, I'm only giving this to you as a piece of advice, so that you won't be so stupid as to go off hurt yourself again. Because men will only ever use you for your body, for you are... unlovable." I fall harder into a deeper and darker abyss. For I've never even heard such words ring so true. But to think that I can never ever be loved, only used and only ever broken. It's true, for isn't that all I've ever been? My friendships, my family, my mother? They're all dellusions that I had to let myself believe and go along with for so long just so I could stray away from this terrible reality. But I try my hardest to be happy, even if I can never be loved. But quite honestly, that scares me to death. Never to be loved...