Rejecting Hope (Old Copy)

Chapter Fifty - "I Pray thee Lord, My Soul to Take."

(Lacey)

My heart was pounding furiously and I couldn't believe all of the words that were overwhelming my mind and so... I just fell to the ground, I broke down and I cried. I tried not to think too much, or anything at all really. For the loneliest part of anyones life, is when they are watching their whole life fall apart and all they can do is stare blankly.

"Why didn't you tell anybody! Why didn't you give us at least a chance to do something! To save you! Why didn't you call the cops for help! Anyone! Anybody! You are such a bitch Ariana!" I scream at the top of my lungs as I throw the once soaked Harry Potter book against the wall.

"What am I supposed to do! What kind of a friend am I? When I can't even so much as keep you alive or even save your life!" I was about to kick the book once more... but it was then and only then that I had noticed a piece of paper falling out of the book that had caught my eye. Slowly I fall back down upon my knees and open the pages softly and carefully and laying upon page 253 of "The Goblet of Fire" is a little folded up piece of paper with the cursive letters of "To My Beloved Sister" upon it. I unfold it carefully as my eyes scan over the sheet of paper.

Dear Lacey

I think you could fall in love with anyone... if you saw the parts of them that no one else gets to see. Like if you followed them around invisibly for a day and saw them crying in their bed at night or singing in the shower or humming quietly to themselves as they make a sandwich or even just walking along the street. And even if they were really weird and had no friends at school, I think, that after seeing them at their most vulnerable, you wouldn't be able to help falling in love with them. But somehow... that's how I always thought that you had grown to love me.

I never did have much friends, but I was blessed with the one I did have and I cannot thank you enough for all of the joy that you had given me. God had blessed me when he gave me a friend like you. But isn't it funny? How someone that can be a complete stranger can suddenly mean so much to you one day, that you would even consider them to be family? You are my sister Lacey and I will always love you, but please don't mourn for me because... by the time you read this... whether it'll be a few weeks after my funeral, a couple of years or even when your eighty... I will be gone.

Please know that I had tried everything and that I died in order to save your lives... you, Hope and Abby too. My father told me that I was going to be killed eventually and I took these matters into my own hands, that for once I had chosen to love before I had died and the fact that he had even allowed it... well lets just say that the temptation... that the pull on my flesh that he gave was just too strong. That this choice was just too much and even though it had stifled the air in my lungs, it was better not to breathe than to breath a lie. But I breathed the lie anyways, just to save you guys. Because even though I was to die... at least there was a way out for him and you too. But please know that I really did try everything.

However... my dad has his contacts. Every police officer in this district knows not to answer to the call of a certain few numbers or anyone named Ariana. For my fathers cousin is a cop and he's helping my father isolate me from salvation. The cops won't listen to me... even the ones that don't know my situation just think that I'm some prankster. So the government can not help me. I've tried running away... but you can't get far without a car. My father made sure that I'd never get a licence... and that is why I had always put up with your crazy driving. Because even though I do break the law sometimes with my permit at school... I can't get further then 20 miles without being caught and I've been caught over thirty five times now. Please tell Jansen that I am sorry for that, but knowing him... he'll just blame it on himself for always being too busy to have even taken me to get my licence. I also feel horrible about the fee he had to pay when I crashed the car into that tree on my suicide attempt so long ago, we agreed to just get rid of the car since the ticket of an unlicensed driver was baring to be too much. I guess the last thing I could've done was to of at least tell you guys about the entire fiasco... however, if I had you guys would've most certainly of been killed. Knowing you guys, someone would've called the cops and any of you'd be killed instantly once my father's cousin found out. Needless to say... I'm sorry I never told you guys. I love you so much please don't forget that truth. But Lacey before I go... I need to tell you something. When I die... please don't come near my body, because my hand may not be able to wipe away your tears anymore. Trust me... it broke me when my mom's dead body couldn't do that anymore and Lace... Sometimes the person who tries to keep everyone happy is always the most lonely person, so please do this one last favor for me. Please never leave Hope alone... even if you both find each other an annoyance... please keep him company, because he will never say that he needs you even when he really does.

So I guess this is farewell Lacey. No one can ever replace another person. I guess that is why farewells are always so... difficult. But you already know that don't you? Never change Lace, for you are beautiful.

- Love Ariana

I didn't know what to think... my mind was gone at this point. Blown past a point of hysteria. It was then that I was reminded. "Thank God! I haven't called the cops yet!" I jump up and run to the phone however, for Hope still needed someone to help and so I called the hospital. "Hello, how may I help you?" a voice picked up and I knew who it was immediately. "Jack, please don't ask any questions but I need you to get an ambulance to this address immediately it's an emergency! The address is "11350 Lakeshore Bullivard". Can you do that for me please?!"

"Lace! Lace! Calm down... what's going on?"

"Just do it Jack, I can't explain it. Just know that this is very important! Please!"

"Alright Lacey, but I need you to come over to the hospital."

"Jack, I can't I need to go to this address. I need to help them! I ne-"

"Lacey it's Abigail."

The tone of his voice... it was done all too well. Suddenly the flashback comes to me.

"Lacey!!! Stop! It tickles!" My little Abby laughs, her long red hair in pig tails.

"Is that so you little munchkin?" I giggle tickling her more when all of a sudden the phone rings and we both stop. She jumps up to pick up the phone but I get to it before she does. I take the phone and hold it to my ear. "Hello, may I speak to Miss Lacey Hawthorne?" I remember holding back Abby as she laughed and said "No fair!"

"This is she." I smiled when all of a sudden those same words came to me. Those three dreadfully awful words that would cause my world to crumble and burn to the ground. "Lacey... it's Ryan."

Suddenly I come back to reality. I was barely able to keep it together when Hope had called me earlier saying "Lacey... it's Ariana" and now Jack's doing it too. I started to hyperventilate. I wanted to say God no!!! No!! Don't fucking say it! I wanted to scream and shout at him for even bringing this up now of all things. But he just had too... he had too. God, do I hate you. Why are you doing this to me God! Why!!!

"Lacey... she's not doing too good. Her heart monitor just went out a couple of minutes ago and they think that she's about to die. We're trying our best to resurrect her but Lacey it doesn't look too good." I was silent for a few minutes as my heart started to burn and my world turned to ash. I heard him say my name one last time before the world grew black and I had hit the floor with a nice hard thud.