(Hope)
Where is she? I think. I haven't seen Arie for two weeks and I've been searching for her ever since. Part of me wants to know she's okay, but the other part of me is bitter. I wasn't searching for happiness, I searching for revenge and I knew it.
My heart races when my mind recalls that memory.
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I kissed her tears away as they fell down her cheeks.
"Ariana, why are you crying?" My voice breaks, because for some reason it always hurt me when she was hurt. But it hurt even more, to know that by the way she was crying. These were not tears of joy. How could she of not felt, what I had just felt? I mean I've kissed her before, but I've never had her kiss me back like that before.
"I can't do this." She cries and I break as she snaps back. She punches me in the gut. I let go of her, stumble backward, and double over in pain. "Ariana!" I gasp.
She turns away from me and runs. No, not again. This isn't happening again. I spring into a run, and the sound of our feet pounding against the pavement closely resembles the sound of my heart right now, harsh and erratic. I catch up to her, snatch her by her hand and spin her around. Watching breathlessly as her hair scatters across the wind... God, I love her.
"Why?" I begin, out of breath. "Why did you run away? Why do you always run away? What are you afraid of? Did I do something wrong?" She doesn't look at me, I pull on her hand. "Please Ariana, didn't you feel anything, anything at all?"
"I felt nothing."
"That's a lie and you know it," I snap, dropping her hand. "I know that you're afraid of something! Come on, tell me the truth! I can help you if you don't communicate with me." She bites her lip and I'm about to blow up. "We could be together, but you won't let me! You must've felt something! Something... There is no possible way that I felt all of that on my own and you kissed me back!" She stands there, frozen.
"Ariana... do you know how much it hurts to be rejected by the one and only girl that you have ever wanted over and over again? To be hurt by the one and only person that you've ever cared for more than your very own life itself? The only one that has ever even mattered?" She doesn't respond to me. Instead she just stands there guiltily staring at the ground, so I place both of my hands upon her shoulders and shake her violently.
"Ariana! I'm spilling my heart out here! Please, you must have at least something that you want to say!"
She snaps out of it, "That's what you say to all of the girls, isn't it?"
"No, I've only ever wanted you... Ariana." I whisper, and I take a step back to look at her face. She looks confused at first and almost scared even, but in a moment too soon her bitter anger is back and fiercer than ever.
This time, I start to shake. "Ariana, tell me... tell me the truth, what is it?"
"I told you -"
"That's a lie Ariana! I know you, there is more to it than just that!"
"Don't act like you know me, Hope." She spits out viciously.
"I know you. How can I not? We've spent our entire life together."
"Did it ever cross your mind that I just simply don't feel that way back?"
My breath hitched... I wasn't taking this.
"Then why did you kiss me back?"
"I don't know, maybe I needed the affection. Maybe I am the downright whore that my father used to always call me."
"He called you that?" I ask, but she ignores me. "Arie, please don't be this way."
"I hate you!!!"
In an instant, my world froze and then cracked and shattered into thousands of little pieces. Her face, her words... it didn't take long for the heartbreak to take me, but man had it came rushing in. The shaking in my body increased as all of my fears came true and I just didn't know what to do. So, I broke down before her and her eyes widened, she wasn't used to seeing me cry and I've never let anyone see me cry. Except for her and that was only twice and for very reasonable reasons. The first time, having to of been over her mothers death and the second was caused by her suicide attempt. "Hope, hope..." her words call out to me in a slight panic. She was afraid of this reaction, I could tell that much already.
"I love you!"
I scream back at her when suddenly without my minds permission I grab her and kiss her yet again, but this time I kiss her more tenderly, softer and my heart is just pounding in my chest, now that I have felt what it was like to kiss her. I just couldn't imagine living another day without it ever again. A desire embeds it's way into my heart, but she just wouldn't kiss me back this time I find the will to pull away.
Her face is pale with fear when I pull away.
"You know what, maybe I was wrong... I don't hate you." She whispers, "I feel indifferent for you. You are nothing to me... and always will be. You don't even deserve but a minute of my time." That was the lowest blow that she's ever sent. With that she turns around and begins to walk away as my world shatters apart. But this time I don't follow her...
I now despised her with my entire being... and always will.
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Walking along the hallways of the school, I was just about to give up. But it was then that looking over to my right that I had saw her behind the glass doors of the library with her hair up in a bun and her head resting against the book case before her. My breath is taken away by such beauty, it hurts even more to know that I have such strong feelings for her... even now after all that she has done to me. You know, it's funny, how she used to fill my heart with such joy and love each and every time that I saw her, no matter how much she had hurt me.
Going inside the library, I head straight for her.
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Rejecting Hope (Old Copy)
Novela JuvenilAriana has stopped talking to Hope, and he doesn't know why. Was it the fact that he told her he loved her? Or does it have something to do with her mother's death or her abusive father? After having been friends for their entire childhood, Ariana j...
