Rejecting Hope (Old Copy)

Chapter Twenty Eight - "A Moment of Truth."

Authors Note - And so the truth unfolds... and you shall LISTEN TO THE SONG!!! It's perfect for this chappie! XD

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(Hope)

This moment should have felt like any other. The way that she was giving into me so openly, letting me in so easily... I should've been happy.

But something felt wrong, her kisses were rough and rigid instead of her usual soft and sweet. Making them feel as though she was desperately tyring to distract herself from something instead of actually enjoying the moment.

Our breathing increases in intensity and my mind goes into a haze, I can't think straight and in a moment too soon I begin to feel her hands go down my chest unbuttoning my shirt, button by button and before I know it, the shirt falls off of my shoulders and she's reaching for my jeans, but then I remember the bitter taste upon her tongue, my mind clears and I pull away from her.

"Your drunk."

I try to say the words as nonchalant as I can. But of course, my voice fails me. Coughing, I try to hide my choke, and then I hear her say as she pulls me in for another intoxicating kiss.

"Why does it matter?"

My throat tightens and I turn my head away from her before our lips can meet again.

     "Stop... please, stop."

       She lets go of me in an instant, "Why?" She slurs.

"Because your drunk sweetheart. I promised a kiss, and nothing more."

"But I want to do it with you! Not some jerk at a party." She grabs my face and tries to kiss me again, but I pull back.

"I don't want to have sex with you just because you're hurt Aria!"

Her eyes widen at this statement and she retreats slightly, her hands falling from my face. But I catch them and keep them in my hold.

"So... I"m not even worth it?" Her voice comes out soft and bittersweet.

I shake my head laughing at how drunk she is, "No, Aria, because you are worth it... I don't want to have sex with you, not right now anyways."

She tilts her head slightly, "I don't get it."

"I want you, of course I do. I've wanted you for years silly, but not like this..." I say, exhausted I drop her hands and her head falls to look at them now resting in her lap.

"I don't understand, isn't this what you've always wanted?" I almost sigh with relief as the soberness seems to be flowing back into her.

"No... I mean yeah, sure. I'm not gonna lie, I've dreamt of this moment before. But not like this, I just... I don't want you to feel like you have to give yourself to me."

"But you do have me." She says leaning in, but I push her away.

"No Aria, I don't. Everything we've had lately has been completely physical. I mean, sure, for this instance I may have your body right now. But the real you, that... intangible undefinable spark that is you. The one that you hide from everyone. That is the you, that I fear I will never know." I look out the window as I whisper. "And that is precisely what I want. I want to get to know your soul."