Rejecting Hope (Old Copy)

Chapter Thirty Four - "Please Don't Be Mad."

(Lacey)

"So I've realized something..."

"And what might that be Lacey?" Ariana huffs out exhausted, she doesn't like the way our conversation is going right now.

"You said that you haven't told Hope that you love him yet and now you're getting angry as I ask you the reason why. I'm sorry but I just don't understand what is going on with you right now."

She huffs out an exhausted breath, shrugging her shoulders and averting her eyes as she eats her Chinese food. We're sitting in the food court at the West Bury Mall and out of no where she tells me that she feels guilty because Hope is always telling her that he loves her but she just can't seem to say it back. I know that I didn't have to ask her on whether or not she loved him, but I did anyways just for conversational sake. She replied without hesitation, "Of course I do!".

But the minute I ask her why she can't just tell him... she suddenly gets tense.

"I don't know I guess... I'm just afraid."

"Afraid of what!?" I laugh, "Rejection? Well no offense honey but if you got down on one knee and asked that boy to marry you he would do so right now!"

Finally I get her to smile, I feel accomplished in that fact. "No, not of that it's just... I've been living in fear of loving him for so long that I-I don't know I guess I'm just terrified, I mean why now? Why is it now that Jetch thinks it's okay for me to accept love? Do you think that this could all just very well be a trick?"

It takes me a moment to think about it and once I do I reach out to her and wrap my fingers around her hand. "I guess it very well could be, but Ariana you can't live in fear forever. Take advantage of what you have now. Your past and future don't matter, all that matters is who you are and who you choose to be and who you choose to be with now in present time. Nothing else matters..."

She smiles at me "You think so?" I smile back.

"Yes, you are old enough now that if you need... you know how to call the cops and you know how to get help."

"Yeah... I guess so." She whispers shyly, but I can still see that she is terrified.

"Ariana..." I whisper slowly moving my hand away, scared to cross this boundary.

"Yes?" She whispers back inquisitively.

"Sara, your mother... why didn't she?..."

"Not marry such a wretched man? Ever call the cops on him? Run away, taking me along with her?" Ariana rushes out all of these options and I can only just listen, I nod my head.

"One word, she loved him."

"What!" I nearly scream out loud, enough for the entire world to hear. Heads instantly shoot to look at me but I don't care. Aria keeps staring at her noodles all she does is ask me politely to sit down, it takes much effort to do so.

"Believe it or not... My father used to be a good man, it wasn't until I had turned four that he... started to change."

"Change?" I whisper urging her on.

"Um yeah, can we move on from this subject now?"

"No Ariana, no more secrets remember?"

"Okay, okay then no more secrets but you have to listen and not say a word of this ever again okay?" I nod my head gently, "Okay."

Suddenly Ariana holds up her pinkie, I laugh lightly. "Don't you think that's a little childish?"

"So what you've never broken one before, so just take the dang pinkie and I'll continue."