Rejecting Hope (Old Copy)

Chapter Thirty - "Just Who Are You?"

Authors Note - I wrote this short chapter after I had a really bad day. I went downstairs to my kitchen to make some dinner and in the process I grabbed a glass bowl from the bottom without thinking and ended up with 7 glass bowls falling out of the cabinets and shattering everywhere. I was so surprised and so scared that I didn't know what happened. But once my mom came down stairs and saw the mess she made me sit down as she cleaned it up. I immediately remember an old poem I wrote about a rose. I ended up writing the first paragraph to this chapter on a piece of paper with a pen. Later that night I posted this chapter and posted a status on "Facebook" with the first paragraph. My mother was the first to comment "Um, nice poem you have there... about how you find breaking glass bowls beautiful. Um, yeah... my child is weird." I'll never forget that :).

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(Ariana)

Glass shatters into a million pieces upon the marble floor. Scattering, jumping, everywhere and anywhere it scares me to death. But as I look upon it now as it lies restless upon the ground, I can't help but to realize just how beautiful it is. Beautiful yet dangerous... very much like love, very much like a rose with thorns. Beautiful, but willing to draw blood in it's defense.

Right now, I'm tied in ropes and I'm laying on the floor as I stare at the shattered pieces. All I wish for, is but a moment of silence. But that is not what I get...

Shatter!

That is the only sound I hear, he's throwing a tantrum and it won't be long before something drastic takes place. My father is not one to take being wrong or disrespected lightly, either way he will put me in my place. I gasp letting the air fill my lungs in slowly as I watch the glass rain and shatter down upon me. I hadn't expected the next bottle to be near me, but here I am as it rains down upon me after hitting the counter.

Beautiful, is all I can think as it rains down and shimmers upon me. I try my best to take the horror of things in my life and turn them into something exactly like glass, love, and roses, something beautiful. I am just like the glass that surrounds me, broken.

His screams fill the air, "Love you?! Love you? How can anybody ever love you, you little bitch!"

This is when I finally lose it, "Well you sure didn't." I bite back and that is when all hell breaks loose.

He grabs me, yanks me up, and drags me all at once by my hair.

Dragging me into the bathroom, he shoves my glass cut face against the mirror making streaks of blood run across it. "Look at yourself! Just who are you anyways? You're an ugly monster that only kills the ones you love, that's all you'll ever be and that is exactly what you have done to your mother!"

Then suddenly he whispers in my ear, "And that is exactly what you have done to your lover."

He lets go of my head with a jerk, causing the blood to fall seamlessly as I slide with my back down against the wall. A little choke makes it's way out of my throat from within me as I stare vacantly into the mirror,

"Just who are you?" I whisper as I trace my hand down the mirrors edge, trailing my fingers along the surface of the girl who stares back at me.

There is no recognition of the girl that sits there before me. There is no recognition of her because I've seen Hell and Hell, is not a place of fire and devils. No it is not... Hell is cold. Hell is a place where you lose not only identity and relationship with yourself, but with everyone you've ever dared loved as well. I have seen hell and I have lost.

My eyes fall silently and I hope and pray with all of my heart that father will not find him... that Hope will escape before he even can. But my world falls to darkness once again.