"People always ask me, "Why are you so quiet?" I don't know. I'll never know. I've always been so quiet, and whenever I speak, I'm known to have a hushed voice. If I think that it's okay to talk, then I won't ever stop, but if I simply don't feel li...
it's a typical quote, but i'm meaning it this time.
to me, i don't care much about the change of the new year, since my last two years have been SUCH crap, it's just for me like "great, here's another day"😂 and i woke up today feeling the exact same, but you know, seeing how crappy the past two years have been for me personally (aka with things i can change like people and aspects of my life) i am going down the road of "New year, new me".
the first thing i'm changing is my look on myself and my confidence. not just physical appearance confidence, something i do actually need to work on, but confidence in who i am and what i like, and my capabilities.
i need to be confident in who i am. i am me, i'll always be me. i'll always be introverted, shy, and when people make fun of me for being "alone" or not liking to go out, i need to not give as much of a shit because their opinion means nothing over my own opinion of myself. i need to learn to love myself for who i am because i'm always going to be me. i'm gonna be a confident (this could sound dumb to any of you) one direction fan. i get shit for it a lot and also because i draw harry a lot and honestly, i'm happy with what i do, i'm getting good at what i do, so i have to just be happy and not let these people get at me with their comments. this boy band as for my other obsessions with youtube and tv shows are the things that make me happy, and as harry says, "do whatever makes you happiest in the world" so that's also what i'm strongly living by this year.
with the problems i have relationship-wise (and by that, i mean friendships/relationships with others, etc.) say hello to a new me, one that is cutting off the fakes, the jerks, and the awful people who hurt me. so what, i might only have like three real friends? better than being in a huge group of fake people that i feel heavily judged by. the fact that i am only myself when i'm at home with my family and when i talk to my internet best friend used to bother me, mainly because i didn't feel comfortable enough to show my true self to anyone at my actual school due to the fact that i'm already judged anyway. but now, i don't care, because they don't need to know the real me, just like how they give me their fake smiles upfront when i can easily catch them giving me glares.
this 2017, i'm trying to focus on myself— to better myself to my best self academically, physically, and most importantly mentally. i hope on my life that i can do it, and i hope you people here will stick by me and support me just as i want to support all of you. to me, new years resolutions can be lame, but i'm finally making one i pray i can stick by. i am gonna look back at this chapter to remind myself of my plans, and when the years over and hopefully i've not deleted this book yet lmao, i'll write what i've achieved.
tell me, if you have one, what is your resolution for the new year?
also, i've been asked to post some of my drawings on here which i did say i'd post every once in a while, so here's a few from 2016 that i liked a lot:
