a teen's journal | rants

things i learned in 2017

since the new year is coming and this year has been a hell of a ride (wait. is this a ride?? this isn't a ride?? or is it??), i have decided to compile all the lessons i learned in general this year.

you might care, you might not, but these are general and slightly personal lessons i have come to realize in the past year.

1. life is seriously full of obstacles and no matter what, they won't stop.

2. trust is earned. do not just give it away.
- i made the mistake this year in trying to come out of my shell by trusting someone, when they came to let me down for no reason at all.

3. do not be fake.
- if you're fake, turn away. i can't nor care to deal with people who will split their personality with me and be kind to my face and a gossip behind my back. that shit is so old. in 2018, i am not putting up with it anymore. 

4. letting people walk all over you and continuing to be their friend because you are lonely is the dumbest shit. always stick up for yourself. you don't deserve bad treatment.
- so this didn't happen to me, but it did happen to that guy friend/not-really-my-friend-but-whatever/neighbor. he was made a fool by those he at school calls his "friends" and his ex, and he was so pissed and hurt, enough to need me to actually meet up with him to tell me about it, yet crawls back to them because he needs to hang out with people. i found it made him look weak and vulnerable, and i told him that, but he didn't care.

5. stay true to yourself.
- when i went to hell— i mean, prom, and those girls in my "fRiEnD gRoUp", who later ditched me there without a goodbye, asked me to dance, and i got that awful feeling inside when i felt like i just got hit by a train, i got the epiphany that i literally couldn't pretend. they weren't my friends, and i couldn't let myself go crazy and have fun, because it would be unlike myself. i didn't feel comfortable with them at all, and i stayed in my lane.

6. do whatever makes you happiest in the world.
- you wanna make fun of me for my hobbies?? think liking harry as much as i do is stupid?? wanna diss my fucking style?? wanna rub it in my face how antisocial i am?? I DONT CARE!!!! as harry has said, and one of my favorite vloggers, DO WHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY. DO MORE OF IT. BITCH I WILL WRITE MY FUCKING BOOKS TILL MY FINGERS FALL OFF. I WILL LIKE HARRY AND TATTOO HIS FACE ON ME SKWOWB. I WILL WEAR BLACK OR ALL ADIDAS IF I WANT. I WILL LOCK MYSELF THE FUCK UP NOT TO SEE ANYONE. WHO IS ANYONE TO TELL YOU WHAT TO LIKE OR DO.

7. INTERNET. FRIENDS. ARE. THE. BEST.
- THIS WAS THE YEAR. i literally was the most social i have ever been. at school? nope. but online? hell yeah.
i mean lets begin with the fact that in March, I MET MY INTERNET BESTIE OF THREE AND A HALF YEARS, ABBEY, IN PERSON!!! FOR! OUR! BIRTHDAYS!!! did it go at all how we planned it all these years? no (we were in a literal blizzard and met up at a fucking mall and hugged and cried in front of a department store, not the airport, or disney, or on a cruise like we imagined!) was it the best birthday/sweet 16 ever?? YES. SCREW STUPID HOUSE PARTIES. it wouldn't have been a party without her, and spending it with her was amazing. i wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I LOVE HER SO MUCHHHH I MEAN MY GIRL DARED TO BUY ME A PACK OF CONDOMS AND MAIL IT ACROSS THE BORDER AS PART OF AN INSIDE JOKE THAT I AM NOW SMUGGLING IN MY ROOM😭😂 HERE ARE TO MANY MORE YEARS AND HOPEFULLY US BECOMING COLLEGE ROOMIES UP IN CANADA