a teen's journal | rants

i ain't got no type

me: *silently finishes lyric* "bad bitches is the only thing that i like"

why am i the way that i am¿

anywaY... from the title i suppose you have an idea what this is about, right?

i wanted to discuss the topic of having a 'type' or preference in what kind of person you want to be with, to date, and well, marry.

i recall back last year i was skyping my guy friend E, and he suddenly was like "ooh what's your type?" as if it was such an interesting, so, so juicy of a topic. (guys there's sarcasm there, i mean if you read my stuff by now you should understand how my opinion of high school/dating at this age is just that it's stupid so when he asked me that i was like lmao this is dumb)

but that's when it hit me

do i even have one?

i mean OBVIOUSLY if anyone can be Harry Styles, even remotely, like personality wise or looks wise, please contact me i am available and if you are harry styles then either date me pls or go home to Louis and be happily gay for me😂

sorry lately i've been triggered by harry styles and larry stylinson, i mean i always am but lately it's on many levels higher

and back to the topic..

like as someone who never dated someone before, i just find it really hard and haven't really thought thoroughly about what i am looking for in a guy. like my mindset has always just been like "oh imma just figure all that dating shit in college, it's fine" but i think about it and now i realize it's good to kind of know what your looking for, but for all that is good and holy, IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU NEED TO STICK WITH THAT PREFERENCE. YOU CAN AND SHOULD INDULGE IN WHAT IS NOT EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT BECAUSE NO ONE IS PERFECT FOR WHAT YOU WANT EXCEPT PROBABLY THE ONE PERSON YOU CANT HAVE. GODDAMMIT EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN VERSION OF A HARRY STYLES DREAM THEY CANT FREAKIN HAVE

WHOO *wipes sweat* THAT WAS A LOT

i always knew i had at least had standards. when he asked me, it was long after i ended it with that guy from the summer, and case in point, i ended it with him because of his drug problems. that's clearly a standard, that i want a clean guy. that's a huge one for me.

i think that's actually more what it's classified as. not to be so technical or literal, but a type for me implies that after so many different ones, there's was a certain type that stuck and has become your desire. as for the word standard or preference, it implies more of a general idea.

that's your english lesson for the day, bitches.

i knew what my friend E meant when he asked about types, because he wasn't asking more for personality as much as he was about looks.

of course everyone, like i said, has their dream guy/girl/significant other's looks all dreamed out.

what does your dream person look like?

you clearly know mine *cough* HARRY but if i have to be more realistic, i did tell my friend that yes i just love light colored eyes, they stick out to me, whether they're green, blue, or whatever. and those eyes with brown hair MHHHHM THATS SOME GOOOOOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE

if you wanna get more detailed into looks then yeah, i'd like him to be tall, taller than me at least which isn't hard since i'm short af. athletic, only because i want to go and support him and embarrass him with a stupid poster or something if he competes. plus i mean let's be honest we all dig some muscles like yum yes pls😂