a teen's journal | rants

dreams

okay okay so i've been meaning to write this chapter for like five years it seems now so since i'm currently on an airplane sat here with my thoughts, i am forcing myself to break away from writing my Weapons chapter to doing this.

it's taking a lot of me to do so😂 i'm obsessed with my book i'm writing okay

i want to start this off by saying that i have a strong interest in the act of dreaming, and the concept of it. that's something a lot of people don't really know about me. it's something i look forward too tbh. just the whole thing is fascinating to me. like, we go to sleep, become completely unconscious, however, our subconscious takes over and creates scenarios that can either send messages to you like that you might be stressed, or the types of dreams that are based off your day, or even those that you find you can control. it's just such a cool thing the brain does.

i've always wanted to learn more about it. i would love to get a reading actually on some of the dreams i'm about to explain to you guys here, because i'd love to know what they mean.

some of these dreams are literally the weirdest, coolest, and (at least to me) scariest. i'm gonna tell you guys about the ones i remember the clearest, and each may vary in how long the description is.

maybe you'll learn something new about me!

or you'll just see how much more fucked my mind is!!

#1: my most common reoccurring nightmare of getting my mom taken away from me.

this nightmare probably first happened when i was little, like 8 or 9 maybe(?) and i believe i've had the nightmare at least four times.

have you ever had a reoccurring dream/nightmare?

for me, this dream has always been identical to when i had it the first time. i haven't had the dream in years now though, but i remember how scared i was when i first had it. i'm such a "mama's girl" so it terrified me. now when i look back, i mean yeah, it's a scary and highly unrealistic situation, but i do get why i was so scared.

so here's the dream:

my mom, dad, older sister, and myself all went on a cruise ship. i remember walking with them on the side of the ship, near where the life boats hang. as we walked, my mom noticed some kids (two small boys) in trouble, i think one was like hanging off the ship or something(?). my mom panics since no one is around us who works on the ship, so she rings the fire alarm to get help.

ringing that alarm actually did no good because it weirdly got my mom in trouble. like she disobeyed a law, and they took her away from my family and essentially placed her in a cage and turned the whole of the ship passengers against her. they placed her in a cage and were slowly, intensely lowering the cage into the ocean.

so guess who tried to save the day?

my 8 year old self did bitchez!!!!!!

i don't remember exactly all the trials and shit i went through to try and save her from being dropped, but i remember it being super scary. this one, the one before me actually saving her, i do remember.

so if you are wondering "why a cruise ship though?" the reason was i was OBSESSED with the Suite Life On Deck with Zack and Cody😂😂

and to add, as a kid, i had a hug crush on Cody from it (i mean Cole Sprouse is hot as fuck, let's be real)

so in the dream, i remember almost reaching the room where i could set my mom free, and i passed into a clothing store on the ship that looked like abandoned. in the shop all of a sudden, i have Cody from the show chasing me and trying to kill me😂😂