a teen's journal | rants

~short update~

it's been a while, hasn't it?

like a really long while...

i want you to know (if you don't read my other books, which you should bc it would make me hella happy) that i am in fact still alive (a surprise to me considering how much i hate school)

let me give you the lowdown on what's going on in my melodramatic life.

first of all, school.

fUCK.

11th grade is a mixture of difficult and easy for me, like some aspects of it are so hard and it makes me wanna dIE but i haven't ended it yet, clearly, i'm writing this, but jeez, i hate school. i'm struggling and hating two classes majorly: history and physics.

history is just hard because my teacher sUCKS so much like she's taught for a really long time and i realize and recognize that she is very knowledgeable with american history, but as for teaching it, i don't think she's great at it. so that reflects how we as students handle the class, and let's just say i'm not alone in my opinion.

physics sucks because quite frankly i'm just not good at it.

i have more of a moderate feeling to dislike for the rest of my classes (math, english, religion), but my film class is probably my favorite despite the hard work it entails weekly, but i'm getting used to it.

aside from classes, my overall opinion of school is that i hate it. i really do. i would give anything to quit now and write like all day long. i kinda don't like walking in there and being comfortably silent. i don't really talk to anyone for the most part unless it's like i'm alone with a person and we discuss a class, but otherwise i'm sort of silent. i walk in there and most of my friends are elsewhere, and i see all these people with their close friends together and it makes me a little upset.

i'm getting used to not talking at school though, and some days i end up actually liking it. people don't bother me, it's just quiet, and almost relaxing, but then i get bothered by my isolation again and it's really shit.

ALL the time i get free time at school, i am literally writing my Wattpad stories like there's no tomorrow. i have many free periods so i balance (and struggle) school and my hobby, which has worked so far, but you have no idea how much i miss the days of summer where i'd get up, grab a bit of breakfast, and write for three hours straight. now my method has changed to writing bits at a time and editing them and it's SUCH A MESS AND I FEEL SO DISORGANIZED EVEN THO I AM TECHNICALLY ORGANIZED BC I AM LIKE FIVE CHAPTERS DONE AND READY TO PUBLISH BUT IDK MY OCD IS QUAKING.

i'm just glad that despite how tough everything is on me, with 6 classes a day and stress levels through the roof, i make time for myself to write to my hearts content.

writing is the thing that makes me the happiest right now.

well

except for one thing.

YALL A BITCH IS GONNA SEE HARRY IN CONCERT IN TWO FREAKING WEEKS?!?!!?$28kejeaj

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH???????????????

WHAT?????????

IS THIS REAL FUCKIN LIFE???

HARRY STYLES. LIKE THE HARRY STYLES. THE LOVE OF MY LIFE. THE LOVE OF LOUIS' LIFE. THE CUTEST MAN ON THE PLANET. THE MOST IMPORTANT MAN FOR THE ECOSYSTEM.

HE IS GONNA BE IN THE SAME ROOM SAME CITY AS MY SORRY ASS. LIKE IM SO EXCITED IVE GOT MY OUTFIT LAYING ON MY ROOM CHAIR WAITING TO BE PACKED.

I CANT WAIT TO READ THIS TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW AND STILL FEEL THE SAME WAY LMAO