Torn Between Two

Chapter 23: Sad

"Jon wake up." I said.

"Whyyyy?"He said groaning.

"Because we have to leave. We have to go get a hotel in Calgary." I said.

"Okay." He said in a sexy sleepy voice.

"Your so cute Jon." I said you touching his nose.

"Thankssss,your so beautiful Miranda." He said.

"Thank you love." I said.

Jon got up and got dressed he grabbed mine and his bags and put them in the trunk. We went to an airport the ride wasn't that long but it was long. We got to the hotel and got settled in.

"I'm going to go to the gym with Colby and Joe, okay?" Jon asked.

"Okay be safe love." I said pecking his lips.

"Bye Miranda, love you like the ocean, it goes on forever." He said.

I got up and decide to see if they had a cafeteria. I grabbed my phone and the hotel room key card. I started texting Marsye and telling her I was still in Canada if she wanted to do anything.

I ran into someone.

"I'm sorry I wasn't watching where I was going!" I said looking at the ground.

"It's okay." A voice said and I knew it instantly. It was Jay's.

I looked up and saw his face. No regular smile. No happy face. Just sad. All sad. He had red puffy eyes and his hair was messed up. He looked like he hadn't sleep, because he had bags under his eyes. He hadn't shaved. He wasn't the Jay he knew. The monsters that got me, had now caught up to him. I hated it. I hated myself. I just wanted to hold him tight and kiss him softly and make his pain go away, but I knew in time it would only make it worst. I wanted to make him feel better. I wanted to show him love. I wanted to show him affection that I lacked giving him in the time we spent to together. I really wanted to show him that the promises I made him were not empty, but I couldn't. He ran away from me for the "best". As soon as he said that he was not going to bother me anymore I hurt. I wanted my best friend back. But a big part of also wanted him as my lover. He gave me something that made me feel right. Something Jon never did. He talked to me and he loved me, he never cheated on me. He wanted love back and I lacked that. I was to busy with Jon. I got up and looked into to his eyes. They were starting to water. I wanted to run away but I couldn't, I was suck in place. He turned away so I could see him cry.

"It's okay to cry Jay." I said.

"No its not. Ill show you affection of love if I cry over you and I can't do that anymore. Your Jon's girl now. He has your love not me." He said.

"No! No! Jay don't leave me. Your my best friend. I miss you already and it hasn't even been 24 hours. I can't live my life without you. Get that through you thick skull. The minute you left, was the minute that the best part of me died Jay!" I yelled.

"Really Miranda I didn't know you cared that much about him." Jon said from behind me.

"Yes Jon I do. I'll admit it to you and everyone else in the world. I love you but I love him. I love him a lot. I can't make a choice okay. I just don't want the monsters to get you to. I hate it. I can't let them. I can't let them tear your life away from you like that." I said.

"The monster caught up to me along time ago. I learned to cope with them. Then you came along, made em disappear." Jon said.

"The monster hasn't caught up with me yet." Jay said.

"Yes it has. You lost your smile." I said.

"I can cope with it." Jay said harshly.

"No you can't I want to make them go anyway but I can't." I said.

"You can't make them go anyway Miranda." Jay said.

"Yes I can, I could love you. I could have never did more than been you best friend and then they would never have come." I said.

"No being nothing more than my best friend would have killed me. It wouldn't have just created monsters." Jay said.

"MIRANDA WHY DON'T YOU JUST KISS HIM ALREADY?!" Jon shouted angrily.

"Maybe I should Jon. Make me and him feel better right? Maybe he could give me something you lack... love. You cheating sun of a bi***!" I yelled covering my mouth.

"I didn't mean that I swear it just slipped out." I said.

"I know it does." Jon said harshly.

"You know I happy AJ told me something today. My chance to get anyway." Jon said covering his mouth and his eyes widened.

"What did she tell you?" I asked.

"She is pregnant with my kid, maybe it might be Phil's." He said.

"You fuc**. You cheated on me more than once. How many months?" I said looking away because I couldn't even look at him.

"One." He said.

"You just recently cheated on me then. You said you would never do it again. You lied!" I yelled.

"Miranda I'm s..." Jon said before I cut him off.

"SHUTUP. YOUR NOT SORRY! I SHOULD HAVE PICKED JAY, YOUR WORTHLESS. THIS IS WHY NO ONE EVER GAVE YOU A CHANCE!" I yelled.