Torn Between Two

Chapter 4: Nothing Ever Felt Like This

I woke up to see Jay staring at me, and rubbing my face gently with his thumb.
"Hey beautiful." He said.
"Hey Canadian." I said.
"I could stay like this forever. You have no idea how long I waited for last night." He said.
"Well I can still smell how excited you were." I said and he smiled.
"Does Jon treat you like this?" Jay asked.
"He did sometimes. He never rushed me into anything I didn't want to do though. He was always patient, he waited to do what you did to me for along time." I said starting to cry.
"You regret this don't you?" He asked.
"No I really don't. I felt really great about what we did last night. I just can't believe he did that to me." I said.
"It's okay I'm here to give you what he never could. I'm going to give you a good relationship." He said.
"Jay I still love him though." I said.
"You do?" He asked.
"Yes,I was with him for a long time. But don't get me wrong I love you to." I said.
"Torn between two. I always get into these crazy relationships. My heart always gets stomped on in the end to." He said.
"I'm sorry Jay you can't pick who you love." I said.
"I wish I would have asked you out when I was training you. You and I would have been married by now. I would be able to say your just mine and not his." He said sadly.
"I'm not his, I'm not dating him." I said thinking about last night.
"Then why do you say that you love him!" He slightly yelled.
"BECAUSE I WAS WITH HIM FOR A LONG TIME. LOVE JUST DOESN'T GO AWAY!" I yelled.
"LET ME HELP YOU FORGET ABOUT HIM. LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT REAL LOVE IS!" He yelled back.
"I CAN'T OKAY. I HURT. I FEEL USELESS, I THOUGH I WAS HIS EVERYTHING. HE WAS MY EVERYTHING. I LOVED EVERY INCH OF THAT BOY!" I said crying.
"ALL OF ME HAS LOVED ALL OF YOU SINCE THE FIRST DAY I MET YOU. I JUST WANT YOU TO LOVE ME WITH THE SAME KIND OF FREAKING PASSION." He yelled.
"I have to go." I said before leaving.
I walked to Jon's room because my stuff was still in there and I had no where else to go. I opened the door to see him in the bed watching TV his eyes red from crying.
"Miranda." He said.
"Jon don't talk to me I just came here because I didn't get my own room last night and I have my stuff here." I said.
"Just let me explain, please." He said.
"Why? WHY WOULD I LET YOU EXPLAIN TO ME? YOU HURT ME TO DEATH AND I THOUGHT YOU REALLY LOVED ME. I JUST FOUGHT WITH JAY AFTER WE MADE LOVE OVER YOU, YOU JERK!" I yelled.
"You did it with him." He said and I could tell it really hurt him to hear that.
"Yes Jon, I'm sorry okay. I know it was suppose to you and I. Okay I'm sorry that I lack something that you had to go find in that club last night! I'M SOREY FOR NOT BEING EVERYTHING YOU WANTED. I'M SO SORRY!" I yelled breaking down crying.
"No, don't you dare say that, I love you with all my heart. Your absolutely perfect in my eyes. I was drunk last night, okay I didn't know what I was doing." He said.