Torn Between Two

Chapter 12: All Of Me

"Jay open up." I said knocking on his hotel room door.
"Hey you need something?" He asked.
"Yeah to talk to you." I said.
"Come in." He said and I walked in. "You smell as if you did the deed."
"Ummm." I said speechless.
"You slept with Good didn't you?!" He said.
"Yes." I said. "I'm sorry okay."
"Was he better than me?" He said with a hint of jealously.
"I don't know." I said.
"Maybe I should give you a reminder on how good I am." Jay said running his hand up my thigh.
"Jay no. I'm starting to think this has nothing to do with love." I said.
"Yes it does. All of this. I sit here while you go to Jon and wait for you. I asked you on a date and you say maybe. I try, I really do. I want people to see you and me together. I want people to complain or say how cute we are on social media like they did with you and Jon. I want that. I want all of you." Jay said.
"You don't want a future with me though." I said almost crying.
"What do you mean?" He said.
"I mean you don't want to get married again and you don't want to have kids." I said.
"Maybe I do. Maybe I want to now. I've thought about it, maybe I want you and me to get married. Maybe I want a kid or two! I need all of you!" He said his eyes starting to water.
"Jay do you really honestly want that?" I asked.
"Maybe I don't know. I just can't handle the thought of losing you to some cheater that doesn't treat you right." He said.
"Jay, I'm sorry I didn't know you felt like that." I said.
"I love you and I can't. I can't do this." He said.
"You can't do what?" I asked.
"Me and you. I love you but I can't sit here and be a emotional wreck while your out there and Jon is whispering sweet nothings in your ear while he makes love to you." He said. "I want that so bad to be just me doing that but no. I'm going out on a date with Layla."
"You are?! Your a liar! You don't love me, you used me! I-I love you!" I yelled breaking down and crying.
"I-I try to please you all,everyone of you and this is what I get! I just spent 5 minutes telling Jon what I loved about you. I love that your funny and I love how you touch me and I get that feeling that makes me feel warm inside. I love all of that. I guess you don't fell the same though!" I yelled still crying a lot.
"I don't know....." Jay said before I cut him off.
"I don't need to hear anything. I don't need to hear anymore I love you's or any I want to be with you. I need to say something that I should have said along time ago...." I said.
"Me and you shouldn't have happened and I let it. I knew we would be here and I was to stupid to not stop it then. I don't want you to talk to me or contact me in anyway. I don't need this anymore."
"You going to regret this." Jay said pushing me gently against a wall.
"Not as much as a regret this." I said before softly kissing Jay on the lips.
"Goodbye Jay."
"Don't leave please. I can't make it without you." He said begging.
"You'll do fine with Layla. You be with her and I'll figure it out." I said.
"Miranda promise me you'll find someone who treats you right." He said.
"I promise. I love you to the moon and back William Jason Reso. You will forever be my Canadian. I love you so much. Don't change one bit after I walk out this door please. I need you to go out on this date tonight. Please be happy." I said.
"Okay." He said crying. "Do I get one last kiss?" He asked.
"Yeah." I said.
He walked over to me and wrapped his arms around my waist. He looked in my eyes. I wiped away his tears. He leaned down and kissed me on the lips gently. I felt his tears on my cheek. He kissed me softly and slowly knowing this was probably going to be the last time. His lips moved in sync with mine perfectly. I pulled away and looked at him. He was already hurting. I hated seeing him like that.
"Your my best friend for life. I love you Miranda. I can't imagine life without you but I'll try. If you have a kid with Jon tell him or her about me at least once okay?" He said.
"Okay. I will. I love you. I love you so much. Take care, don't harm yourself, and forget about me." I said.
"Don't make me forget about you. Your something that makes me happy. When I think about you I smile. I'm not going to forget about you so don't forget about me please." He said crying.
"Okay. See you later because goodbye sounds to hurtful." I said hugging him.
"See you later you beautiful person." He said tears streaming down his face.
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Comment and tell me please.