It goes from "babe" to "bitch".
"I Love You" to "I hate you".
"I need you" to "fuck you".
"You're my everything" to "you're nothing".
"he was just hurt, you know like me"
-chris schistad
I grown as my head screams, gosh why did I even drink so much last night, I asked myself. I try to remember what happens last night but I can't seem to remember a shit. I don't even remember how I got home.
The first thing I do is going to the shower. I take my time in the shower, and I have the water extra hot, I am that kinda person that likes to shower I burning hot water, because it make me relax and I think of the pain of the water instead of the pain in my heart. After I done showering I put my underwear on and walk to my makeup table. And that's when I see hickeys on my neck, I start to think about last night, and then it hit me that I've slept with William. "Fuck, fuck" I swear to myself. I shouldn't slept with him because I know how much Vilde likes him.
I do my makeup and then I just stare at myself and tries to cover up my hickeys because I am meeting my farther today at a cafe. I kinda cover it up good it's not completely gone but it's good. I go to my clothes and pick some close for today.
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Her outfit ^^ I then put on some adidas superstar shoes and grab my stuff and head to the car.
Saturday 12:30 I saw the cafe my dad told me too meet him up and we would eat some lunch and talk. I see my dad through the window and then when I go in I see a huge Table with full of guys, and the guys is the penetrators. I can feel my heart skipping a beat when I make eye contact with both William and Chris. I then quickly go and take a seat in front of my dad. "Darling so happy you could make it" he says and grabs my hand, I see how hard he is trying to try and connect with me, but I can't change that I have turned to be a heartless bitch " how are you honey, do you like it here" he ask and we both looks at the menu. "I am good, I like it here I am really close to mom" I say still looking at the menu. "That's great to hear darling, I am happy you feel that way" "Isn't that the guy who was at your house that day" he says and looks over where the boys are sitting. I quickly look at them and see that Chris is staring at me, then he just waved to my dad, making my dad smile. " he seems like a nice guy you should stick with him" he says and looks at the menu. "So that little bitch Caroline can steal him to" I say and look at my dad. "Alison language, and she said she was sorry and that she did not know you guys where dating" he says and Protect her like she is his daughter. "Oh come on, quit the crap we where together for a whole fucking year and he was at our house all the time" I say calmly but you can tell my voice is field with anger.
"Well maybe you shouldn't throw yourself all over him at the first date, and maybe then he would think you are classy and worth keeping" my dad says and it sounds exactly like what he is wife and daughter would say to me. I then get up fast making my chair fall back on the ground. "Fuck off dad don't fucking try to see me agin I am done with your shit" I say harsh and I feel everyone stare at me when I walk out. Especially the boys.
I get i to my car and just sit in it, i don't turn it on I just stare at the road. My dad has officially become like a male version of his wife. He made me sick just the thought of. I actually was stupid enough to think that maybe we could work this out, and I would be happy and having a good relationship with my dad. Then someone knocked on my car window, at first I thought it was my dad, but it was Chris. He opens the door and sits down. "You okey" he ask "No I am not okey but it's cool I am kinda used to it" i say and and whip my tears away once again. "Ugh, why am I crying, I am so sick of crying" I say and more Tears is steaming down my face. I feel Chris put his hand on my thigh, it feels good like it should belong there. "Hey everything is going to alright" he says I look up at him and see that he is not having or had a smirk on today, I see clearly that he is sad. "Why are you sad" I ask and he looks at me and the look down. "Did you and William fucked together last night" he asks "He have hickeys all over his neck and so have you" he said and this time he looks right in to my eyes. "Yes we slept together" I say and my voice is shaking. "Why" Chris ask. "Because I don't do love only pleasure" I say "Why do you even care" I say ice cold. "Because I fucking like you isn't obviously, I care about you, I think about you all the time don't you see why I am Always there for you, to be near you and be there for you" he says almost screaming. I can't fall for it I can't, I want to tell him that I like him to but I am to scared to get My heart ripped out of my chest again.
"Well to bad for you, because I don't do love I do pleasure I don't have heart to love someone or like someone. It got ripped out once and it never came back" I stare in he's beautiful brown eyes until William came and knocked on the car window telling him the are leaving.
"Christoffer you want what you can't have me, and I want what I can't have Love"
"I always get what I want" he says and looks at me one last time before he steppes out the car.
And I just sit in the car and thinking what the hell just happened.
