Find my courage (Pokemon fanfiction)

~17 Mending the bond

The mornings atmosphere was heavy, at least from my perspective. Despite the sunshine and cloudless sky, the sounds of Wingull squawking along the beach and the smell of the salty water in the air, I dragged my feet as I walked - my head down and a tight frown over my features. I dreaded the planned lunch Jake had organised with Zyra without my consent.

All my life, I'd known very little about my past, I had no need for it and Ghetsis had assured that my life before I was kidnapped was nothing but a distant memory and I was always fine with it. Before N, Makayla had been my first and only friend. I never had much time or ability to make any before hand as I'd been moved to eleven different orphanages before I was seven years old and my muteness became something other kids avoided, holding onto the childish thought that the lack of voice was something that could be caught like a disease. I'd always been alone.

A sigh left my lips as I gripped the balcony railing, leaning backwards in a way that should I let go, I'd fall and hit the ground but I held on tightly and kept my feet firmly planted. For me, Zyra had been the one I placed all the blame on. Yes I realise I don't know Zyra at all and know nothing about the situation but I simply couldn't help it. N said it was human nature, that pain in human beings needs to be the fault of another, especially with how much I'd been trough. It was simply too much for my mind to comprehend as my fault, especially when I always tried to be the best I could be for N to stay close to him for fear of abandonment. He said it was something that couldn't be helped and I shouldn't feel guilty but I think that that's what I'm most afraid of — feeling the guilt from all the blame I've placed on a person I know nothing about.

~I sense you need to talk.~ Samurai's voice blossomed through my thoughts, my shiny Gallade approaching from behind as silently as a shadow.

Again, I sighed, opening my eyes and standing firmly on my feet again as I released the railing. :Sorry Samurai, but I think I'd prefer to sort my thoughts to myself this time. It's complicated...:

Samurai raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile forming over his features. ~Well then Miss-Oh-So-Suddenly-Mature, may I join you?~

I simply shrugged. :I don't see why not, but you better not try to trick me into talking about my feelings... again:

~Me? No, why would you think that?~ He smirked, ruffling my bright pink hair.

:Because you do it all the time when I'm upset and don't feel like talking.: I rolled my eyes.

~So you are upset then?~ His smile broadened as he took seat in one of the deck chairs.

I groaned inwardly at the trap I'd unknowingly fallen into. :Damn it Samurai!:

~Language Paige.~ Samurai chuckled, leaning backwards with a coy smirk.

Rolling my eyes, I snorted and turned my back to him, leaning against the railing with another sigh. :Do I have to go?:

~No.~ Samurai answered blankly. ~But you should.~

:Why? She's never done anything for me.: I frowned, staring at the clouds thoughtfully.

Samurai seemed to become slightly more unease by the way the conversation was heading. ~Because, whether you like it or not, Zyra is your family. Wouldn't you just like to learn something about your real family? Your mother and father?~

:But Samurai, you're my family! I don't need anyone else because I have you and Gardenia and the rest of my Pokémon and N, that's all I need.: I huffed, shaking my head. :I don't care about blood family because I've never had them in my life before: