Find my courage (Pokemon fanfiction)

~48 Personal Changes

I gently played with the ends of my hair, staring at my reflection with worry. :What if they don't like it?:

~Doesn't matter as long as you like it.~ Samurai stated, helping me comb my hair to the side, kissing my forehead as he did. ~But it looks great, I'm sure they will love it.~

"Paige, 5 minutes okay?" Jake called from beyond the bathroom causing me to tense.

:I don't feel good...: I sighed, hugging my stomach. :What if N doesn't like it, What if he doesn't love me because of it?:

Gardenia chuckled as she wrapped a ribbon around my head. ~N doesn't love you for your hair Paige, he loves you for the brilliant, smart, energetic and positive little girl you are. A haircut won't change that.~

I again turned to my reflection. I'd had very few hair cuts in my life and none as drastic as this. My hair had always been long... well until now. My once waste long hair was now less then half the original length, being cropped about halfway between my shoulder blades. My own image was foreign to me but at the same time, the change was oddly satisfying. The main reason though was to make it harder to use my hair as a vantage point. More then once I'd been picked up and held off the floor by my hair alone and it hurt... a lot. My shorter hair made that near impossible.

Sighing to myself, I threw my hair things into my bag as well as my other toiletries before putting my two bottles of medication in the side pocket. I still didn't feel great and I knew I still had issues with my heart but they would go away soon hopefully - I had pills to help as well as pain killers. The doctor suspected I may need antidepressants but I usually bounced back within a week of incidents like this... although there hasn't ever really been an incident like this before.

I opened the door, feeling open and exposed - part of me wanting to hide away from my friends forever... or at least until my hair grew back. I hadn't told any of the others about my appearance change - for them, it would be the first time seeing me like this. Samurai held my hand, I felt his strength and support - I felt braver with him there. I would be okay.

Jessica was the first to notice, watching me exit as she put her share of supplies into her backpack. "Morning Paige... Did you... get a haircut?" She asked the obvious, catching the attention of my other friends. "It looks great!" She smiled, helping to put my nerves at ease a little... Although Jessica was always a supportive

Milly made the next comment, but I didn't really hear as I surveyed the room for N but he didn't seem to be in here. Jake came up to me, smiling brightly as he inspected my new look. I averted my eyes completely.

"It suites you well." He commented. "At least I think it does, I don't really get girls hair."

"That's why you don't have a girlfriend." Milly teased, setting her backpack by the door.

As Jake huffed at his sisters comment, N came out of one of the rooms, Kay following behind. He smiled at me before his expression shifted to confusion. I receded a few steps, not sure what he would say.

I heard him move across the room, placing a hand gently on my shoulder before lifted up my chin so I would meet his eyes. "Do you like it?" He asked softly, an almost motherly look in his eyes.

I nodded once,hugging myself tightly with the arm that wasn't occupied with Samurai's hand.

"Then so do I." He said proudly.

Holding back a sigh of releif, I was embraced by Kay who playfully messed up my hair. "Naaww, this isn't as fun anymore, where'd your hair go?"

~She cut it off, duh.~ Champ sighed, rolling his eyes from his spot across the room.

:She still can't hear you like that, you have to use your words and then N can hear you and can tell her.: I reminded Champ. N could understand Pokemon but wasn't so good at hearing telepathy. According to Samurai and Gardenia it was a skill that took a lot of time and effort on both the Pokemon and human side of it. I could only do it as well as I could because it was my primary method of communication. 

Champ hissed annoyed. ~Why would I do that? You can't hear me when I do that.~

:Does that matter?: I asked :I hear you this way.:

~YES! I don't want him to hear me, I want you to hear me, they don't matter.~ My Meditite spoke as if what he was saying were obvious and I was stupid for thinking otherwise.

With a playful smile, I packed my sleeping bag into my backpack, before going to fill the excess space with food supplies. :That's almost sweet.:

~I don't care.~ Champ hissed as Kay took the supplies off me, making some comment about how they don't want me to worry about it until I was completely better.

With a small giggle to myself, I smiled at Champ who looked away quickly. He had a habit of making it known to me that I am literally the only human he cared about in any sense. He couldn't care less about anyone else.

After all my friends had shared their approval, I relaxed completely. I did feel stupid for ever doubting my friends would would be anything but supportive of me - especially over something silly like a haircut. As I pattened down my hair again, everyone else went through a walk through of our room, checking nothing was going to be left behind before we left, getting ready to set sail to Mossdeep City.

  ~~~~~🌺~~~~~
Word count: 993
Sorry, big a a smaller chapter but the next one will be longer. Promise.
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