I Wish You Knew [Haylor]

Chapter 49

"Shss, Taylor." She's crying louder than ever, her screams and cries are hurtful. You know what this reminds me of? That time when I fucked up by eating someone's else face, and that time I was hurt and she was hurt badly because of my fucking attitude.

"Why did I ran away Harry! Why!?" I shook my head every time she said that. It's hard, hearing her screamed about something she regrets. And that she is sick makes things even worse.

"Taylor, come one let's sit down and relax alright? Calm down." I sat on the bed. with her on my lap, she's showering my chest with her unstoppable tears. I can't stop her, I let her.

"Let it out, it's alright." I stroke her hair down as she let it all out. I closed my eyes and sighed multiple times hearing her cries with shouts every time, is this what pain feels like?

"I won't leave, I promise. I'm not gonna be bad again." Bad, be bad. I never ever told her that she is bad, she's not bad. She's just... I guess vulnerable. She can't really do anything to her body and mind, she can't even think straight about anything, and that is understandable.

"Taylor... stop thinking about it." Every sentence always have her name on it, why? Because she won't listen if I didn't call her name out. Her son is too high, she probably can't even see anything, her vision is blurry.

"Do you want me to sing you a song?" I don't know why I asked her that, that is stupid. She's not a little girl anymore, heck, she's 22.

She nodded and she bury her face on my chest, I pressed my cheek against her head as she let out a big sigh. Her body is shaking furiously and her arms are sweating, she's stressed.

"Your hand fits in mine, like it's made just for me

But bear this in mind it was meant to be

And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks

And it all makes sense to me."

It feels right, singing a romantic song to her. And the strange thing is that I kissed her cheek, when I don't want to. My hands, both of my hands is now in her hands. It feels right.

"And I've just let these little things slip out of my mouth

Cause it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to.

And I'm in love with you, and all these little things."

I meant that, even when it's just a song, I meant that. Is it weird that I sang that to her? It's more of like I'm expressing my feelings to her.

"Don't let me go, please. Not now." Her soft voice just said it all clearly and softly. I nodded and looked at her, swollen blue eyes but I can see that she's getting a bit better.

"I won't let you go." I slipped out from her hands and at a second her eyes went completely wild and shut, maybe she thinks I'll do something unexpected, for example leaving her alone.

But I wouldn't do that. I hair want to hold her by her wrist and tighten my girl so that she knows that I'm not gonna let her go. Her smile just showed up on her face and I smiled back at her, her smile is lovely.

How I wish I could say those things to her, but I don't want to break this thing between us. I'm gonna make it awkward again like I always do.

"Smile more, I miss your smile a lot." She said while she's resting her head on my shoulder, a wide smile appeared on my face and by now, I'm kissing her neck.

"I miss your.. your..." I smirked at my own thoughts, I'm really dirty and really I don't mind, but sometimes it will come out wrong. "Your eyes..?" That came out wrong. See what I meant? Im embarrassed now.

"You're lying." She giggles, oh that giggle. For the first then in forever I hear her giggled again, I heard her laugh but her giggle, her tiny giggle. I missed them.

"Don't be embarrassed, I'm just Taylor." She giggled again with a wide smile, she's bright now and I love it. I like seeing her like this.

The happy Taylor, I'm seeing the 11 year old Taylor now and I'm happy. Seeing her so bright and cheerful is something important to me, after that day I left, she never look like she's actually happy.

"You're just Taylor." I repeated that and she nodded. She rested her head back on my chest and then she shot her head up.

She leaned in and she plant a kiss on my lips, she smiled and she went off on my chest with her eyes closed and her arms around my neck.

I guess we're back to the what are we? situation.