I Wish You Knew [Haylor]

Chapter 46

Harry POV

"Um-- Hi, I'm Harry from one direction."

I waved and gave everyone a grin before I say the next thing I have in mind. This is the first time I perform, in public without cameras and lights everywhere. It's just a solid room with people smoking and cheering.

"I came here to express my feelings trough a song I wrote myself. And I just want to perform here in a little cafe, I thought it will be cool and unique for me."

All of the people cheered and they all starts to smile. I have to be honest that I loved it here, quite and secure but the cheering fans is what I loved when I sang, I don't know why but they makes me feel happy somehow.

"Well I made a song about a-- a girl and I want to dedicate this song for her. She's not her though and I don't want her to know because it's pretty embarrassing. But I want to sing it because there's nothing left to hide."

I smiled and I grabbed my guitar, it's actually Niall's but I borrowed it from him, well actually I took it without any permission and I shouldn't have done that.

"Being here without you is like I'm waking up to...

Only half a blue sky

Kinda there but not quite."

I sighed in between breaths and I bowed my head down a little. I'm actually feeling anxious about all of this but what's done is done. I never want this song to be spoiled, even by me but I did it already.

"I'm a half a man at best

With half an arrow in my chest

I miss everything we do

I'm half a heart without you."

It's either my emotion or sensitivity that makes me overly-emotional about this song. Is it wrong that I feel like I want to burst out in front of the people eating and enjoying this?

"Though I try to get you out of my head

The truth is I got lost without you

Since then I've been waking up to..."

I strummed the guitar as I saw a girl, a familiar girl walked in the door. She didn't saw me though and I'm glad. If she hears this, I'll be doomed.

"I'm half a heart without you..."

I sang the last line and I smiled. I bet there's a couples of water in my eyes but I didn't let it down to form a tear. It's pretty embarrassing how I let out some water from my own song, well it's not that surprising because I did write it for someone that matters a lot.

"Thank you. I hope I'll see you later."

They clapped and I grabbed the vitas and put it back in the cover. I looked around to see if she's still here, I really don't want to bumped into her.

Uniquely in here, there's parts for the room. There's a gap between them and it got separated by a big wall with a mirror in the middle. She didn't come here, it's pretty much an eventful day for me.

I get in the car and I drove to the old apartment where we used to live together. Maybe everyone expected me to throw it away and keep it an abandoned home, but I make it into a getaway home and it's pretty much like my hideaway.

Not a lot of people know that I still lived here, Taylor knows along with the boys but other than them no one knows about it. Sometimes a fan would found out out of no where but I'm actually surprised that they never find the apartment.

I never want to tell people that I still live here but I thought it isn't fair if the boys and Taylor didn't know. It's her home after all and she could live there if she wants but she took it well, and the boys they said I need it for myself.

I'm back in the house, it's already 1pm. I brought the key with me, that's always come in handy. I opened up the door and everyone was sleeping, I think. I actually drive around the city before I actually drive home. I came home pretty late.

"H- Harry."

I heard a sob coming from the living room. I rushed from the kitchen to the living room as I saw Taylor curling up on the couch.

"What's wrong?"

I checked her arms and everything, of course there will be cuts and scars on her arms and I'm not even surprised. That's what she do when she's alone, especially when she's thinking of something depressing and cloudy.

"I thought you promise me not to do something that caused harm."

I sighed and I sat beside her with my body facing her. She's hiding her body in an oversized sweater. It's crazy how she can changed from a happy girl to a sad, depressing, gloomy girl in one second. I thought I saw her in the cafe, smiling to herself.

"I thought it was enough from that day when I got into that car crash. And now you did it again."

It just puts me back to that night when she didn't come, but at least she's okay. Her wrists and arms are really infected, it's not easy to look at it.

"Why are you not mad at me Harry?"

She's saying that while she's covering her face in her tiny hands. I looked at her and I furrowed my eyebrows, should I be mad?

"Because I feel like I don't have the need to be mad at you and that I'll jut waste my time on that."

I looked down at the floor, I actually found myself thinking about today. It escalated really quickly how Taylor just got here and I performed and then I came home talking to her.

"B--but-- Harry you should be mad at me. I-I'm mad at you wh--when you left me b-but now you d--don't? Wh-why?"

I hear that stuttered from her again, and that sobbed and her little cry. It hurts hearing her cry and talk at the same time. I know she's tired from this stupid relationship we have, that's why I'm not mad at her. I don't want to make it even worse.

"Taylor, it's different."

I replied. She shakes her head and she looked at me.

"I left you without saying goodbye but you left me with a goodbye."

Her tone of voice is more down now, she's really gloomy. I never saw her happy lately.

"Forget it alright? It's in the past you don't need to think about it."

I smiled and I quickly stand up. I went upstair, leaving her with no answer at all. I told her to forget it but I know she won't.