I Wish You Knew [Haylor]

Chapter 48

"You barley eat. Taylor, you're going home tonight." Harry is checking up on me once in a while, he's in my room now, it feels weird to have him back like this.

"I won't let you go home if you're still sick like this." He sat beside me and he grabs the spoon, I know what he's going to do. He's going to help me eat.

I don't hate him, I never do and I never will but I don't want to ruined anything again now. I hide my lips and I backed away, he sighed and he put the spoon back.

"I was just trying to help," He stands up and he shrugged his shoulders with a hand gesture, he's really stressed right now and I don't want to make him even more worse.

I feel like, I've said worse for so many times that it meant nothing now, it's just some rubbing word that I used and it hurts, because that's what I always use worse.

"I--I know, I know." I immediately reply, I don't want him to think like I'm mad at him when I don't have the right to be mad.

He nods and he runs his fingers trough his hair, he does this all the time when there's another silence between us and I just realized that, maybe this is a new habit, a nervous habit of him.

"Truth?" He used a questioning tone in that and I looked at him, he's at the floor, sitting with one leg up and one leg down, his hands is on his lap, his gaze is on me, and I realized that I just got fucked up.

"Truth..." I guess he's questioning me if I want the truth, from him. Really, it's time for me to explain why I ran but I guess he already knew, maybe.

"I don't want you to leave, because I know you'll never come back again. At least not for me."

Once again, he runs his fingers trough his hair while he sighs. I smiled at him and I found myself looking down at my feet, my feet is shaking horribly and it will hit the rim of my bed sometimes.

"It's a fear now, of losing you all over again. And I've lost you for so many times," I stay silent the whole time while he's explaining himself, I should be the one to explain but instead he's the one who show how much he actually cared.

"Three times Taylor, and that's the end. No more, it's enough." My heart just shattered, goodbye is really near now and it feels so, unreal.

"You could've said you want to end things up and stop this nonsense game Harry, it's easy." I raised my voice higher, dammit I shouldn't have done that.

I'm the one who said that he has to forget everything, well I'm the one who feels like I'm being dumped when I dumped him long ago.

"It's the opposite Taylor and you know that," I didn't get it, my brain can't function from all of this talk.

"Baby, you want that?" My eyes widen as he said that. Weak, weakness is all over me now. I knew it, that's what he meant by that and I didn't get it. I'm dumb.

"Stop running away from me, I don't like to think that I'm just your past." Tear starts rolling from my eyes as he stand up and bit his lips, he's beautiful.

I didn't know what was going to happen but he lift me up, in his arms, crying, crying so hard that my heart melts and broke into pieces and maybe he could hear that, just maybe.

His cry, I never see him cry before, I made him cry. I'm a heartbreaker, I made him cry, why? Why did I do that?

Fuck.

"I-- I made you cry, no... no Harry." I held back my tear as I want to comfort him as much as I can. He shakes his head, it hurts me to see him like this.

All messed up and broken.

"Don't go, please Taylor. Don't leave me again, not now. It's a new year and I want to make it as memorable as possible, Taylor don't. Don't make this year hard for me again."

"I broke you didn't I? I did." I whisperingly said right trough his ear. I missed his touch, I want him, he's all I wanted but not like this.

He's depressed, and it's not the thing I'm expected.

"Stay." His voice shivers me and I nodded while I bury my face in his neck, I closed my eyes and I can feel my heart goes faster and faster when he tighten his grip on me, he didn't want to let go.

I tighten my grip as well, but I make sure that he's comfortable with this situation and maybe he is, because he didn't gesture me to move. His face move and then all I know is that he kissed my cheek and he whispered something I can't quite hear,

But if I'm not mistaken, I heard was "Don't make me chase you all over again." In his sob. It's a wild thing to say. I am not expecting him to chase me, he chased me?

"I didn't know you're trying to chase me." I let out a breath when I said that and he stopped his sob, he looked at me and those green eyes are sparkling again.

"Because I never tried to but I did, but I failed." He let out a big smile and he gulped, he looked down at the floor, he's still lighting me up a smile carrying me in his arms.

"Mistake, this is a mistake, yeah? That's what you're thinking. Now? Is it?" There's so much doubt in my voice but really, I'm sure that he's gonna say that.

"Mistake, maybe this is a mistake. But it's a beautiful mistake Taylor and you can't avoid that." He smiled at me and he smirked, his dimples showing and his teeth are now shining brighter than ever.

Beautiful Mistake.

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Author's Note :

I just realized that I always write down some cheesy stuff when it comes to their cute moments, I don't like it but sometimes I like it ya know? I can't write some detailed stuff and I don't like it. 😂

- I'm sorry that I always write down this Auhtor's Note but I love writing it down, because I feel like I'm interacting with you guys. I know it can be really annoying sometimes, sorry again!