I Wish You Knew [Haylor]

Chapter 30

I went to the bathroom immediately when I stepped on my apartment floor. I want to scream, I want to cry as loud as I can, I want someone who can help me with this.

I saw myself in the mirror and I look like a complete mess. My hair is messy, my mascara is on my cheeks, dry tears everywhere, tears inside my eyes, red eyes, I'm a mess. That's not my reflection, that's not me.

I heard the door opens, I know who it is. I cry even more knowing that he's home, he must be behind me all of the time. My habits went crazy, I punched the wall, I hit the mirror, it's just coming back again like those years before.

"Taylor! Taylor!" He knocks on the door furiously. I'm scared that he'll find out that I'm doing this self harm again. "Open this up Taylor! Please..." His voice is really upset yet he's worried. I can hear it in his tone that he's actually upset. "I'm begging you. Open this damn door!" He knocks even more furiously. He's banging the door not knowing the door. He ties it the door knob in every way but he can't open it.

"Taylor! Taylor! Swift! Baby..." A loud squeak came from outside. It's raining, he's still wearing his shoes, that's why it's squeaking. He knocks, he bangs it over and over again until I scream. "Shit! Open the fucking door Taylor! Open this!"

The cuts I made is too deep for me. I don't know why I did this harm to myself, where did I get this from? My dad. I covered the scars with some toilet papers. It hurts, it hurts so badly.

He opened up the door, breaking it. I bowed my head down and shake my head. I stand up, not be able to walk properly. He twists his hand around me. I let go.

"Would you do anything for me?" He nods lightly. I looked at him, feeling actually bad that I'm going to say this. "If you would. Go away." I walk to my bedroom. It feels like hours to get in there safely. He's still by my side, he didn't listen to me.

"You left the lunchbox at the floor and I ate it." His raspy-soft voice said. No, he won't affect me. I'm just Taylor, doing this stuff that I like to do. "I--I'm sorry... I'm stupid I know."

"Go away would you? I already told you to go away Harry! Why can't you listen to me?" I yelled at him without looking at his face. He backs up and sat on the couch. I can't walk by myself, but what can I do? I'm alone now.

When I recached my bedroom all I want to do is to lay down and stare at the floor. I'm not on my bed, I'm on the floor, I'm laying on the floor, the cold hard ground.

He didn't do the same mistake, but he made a bigger mistake than before. It's different. He left me, he cheats. That's two different thing right? Very different. It hurts like hell, it does. I never thought I will get this mad at the precious little boy that I can label as my best friend.

The worst thing is... my mom and Anne just posted a picture of me and Harry. And Anne posted a picture with me and mom posted a picture with Harry. What a cruel thing to happen.

I don't want to break their heart. I want to leave from this house, I want to run away by myself. I want to, I really want to. But I can't go out like this, the media will think that Harry did this to me and I don't want him to be accused of something he never did.

I sleep. I just sleep to make my mind stops for a minute and makes it more peaceful.

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Author's Note :

Double updates!