Turn Away | c.h

Chapter 49 - Self Control

not gonna lie, unedited:"))
sorry in advance for any spelling mistakes/ awkward autocorrects

I poured the liquid into the cup, leaning back on the bench as I continued to watch people pace back and forth, empty cups in their hands. I brought the cup up to my lips, pouring the sweet taste into my throat. The taste of alcohol no longer bothered me- I was past the point of return. I didn't know what else to do, Calum had left me alone in a house full of strangers and there was free alcohol so there was no way I was going to turn that offer down. And I'm glad I didn't.

I reached over, pouring more of the drink for myself, before walking towards the dance floor. People moved aside for me as I gently pushed through them, my frame evidentially smaller than everyone else's. I leant against the wall, watching as people danced and grinders up against each other. Frankly, I was jealous of everyone's dancing capabilities. If I ever mustered up enough self esteem to dance, I knew I'd just make a fool out of myself. But fuck, I just wanted to dance right now.

Glancing around, I saw absolutely no traces of Calum still. It had been at least 45 minutes since he left me, and it felt like forever. Whatever he and Ashton was talking about, must have been important. I just wanted my boyfriend back so I could laugh and kiss him.

I began to feel the alcohol take its toll on me even more- by this point, it was safe to say I was well and truly drunk. So now was the perfect timing.

I slipped off my jacket, revealing the dress Calum forcefully bought for me, and made me wear. Chucking it on the arm of the chair beside me, I adjusted me dress and my hair and then made my way to the dance floor.

All my insecurity dissipated as I stood amongst everyone who moved their bodies to the beat so perfectly. I glanced around before I slowly stared moving, trying to loosen up. I just wanted to dance as if I was alone in my room with my favourite playlist blasting. And so I closed my eyes, losing myself completely in the music and swaying my body to the beat. Once I got in the rhythm, I didn't feel awkward at all.

I kept moving, swaying my hips and instinctually moving my hands in the air. It's as though everyone disappeared around me and I was the only person in the house. God, being drunk was such a wonderful feeling. I don't know why I didn't do this more often.
I found myself singing along to the song blasting through the room, a small smile in my face as I did so. God, I wish Calum was here to enjoy this moment with me.

I didn't even know when I was moving anymore, the music purely controlled me and my actions, I realised solely on the beat of the music and the euphoric feeling it gave me. I hadn't felt this independently happy in so long. It was unusual to feel happiness when Calum wasn't around, because he was the only thing that made me happy in so long. It was nice, really.

I opened my eyes, mine meeting with a familiar pair of brown ones. He wore a smirk, his eyes sparkling as the coloured lights cascaded down on him. I smiled in response, moving my hips as I stared him straight in the eyes. My hands moved down my body, suggestively trailing my fingers across the hem. Honestly, I have no idea where this new found confidence had come from but I'm glad it was here. The way he was looking at me was really something else- I felt borderline powerful. I could see the effect my confidence had on him, and it only made me feel even more oddly satisfied.

He didn't say a word, didn't even move a muscle. He just watched the way my body moved with a big, suggestive smirk on his face.

And soon enough, I couldn't even stand the distance between us. I slowly made my way towards him, feeling more empowered with every step I took. The second I was near him, his hands were on my body.