Chapter 15
Two weeks later
Katelyns POV
I was sitting on the couch. Doing nothing. Just sitting there. Breathing. Blinking. Thinking.
*flashback*
I was in a closet. I was 4. Ryan came in and started hitting me. Then he took his pants off. He took mine off too. He started raping me. I screamed out in pain.
- Shh, be a good girl and be quiet.
That was the day I lost my virginity. He warned me not to tell anyone or else he would come back for me.
*end of flashback*
I was still on the couch. I was home alone since the boys were at the studio recording songs. I didn't want to come. I couldn't.
I took my guitar and started playing a song I wrote. ( who you are by Jessie j )
I stare at my reflection in the mirror:
"Why am I doing this to myself?"
Losing my mind on a tiny error,
I nearly left the real me on the shelf.
No, no, no, no, no...
Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are!
(who you are [11x])
Brushing my hair-do I look perfect?
I forgot what to do to fit the mould, yeah!
The more I try the less it's working, yeah
'Cause everything inside me screams
No, no, no, no, no...
Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
There's nothing wrong with who you are!
Yes, no, egos, fake shows, like whoa!
Just go and leave me alone!
Real talk, real life, good love, goodnight,
With a smile that's my home!
That's my home, no...
No, no, no, no, no...
Don't lose who you are in the blur of the stars!
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay...
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are!
Yeah yeah yeah
I was done playing. I couldn't take it anymore. I went upstairs. To my bedroom. Went in my bathroom. Took the razor. And cut my wrists.
I know Jay told me not to do it, but I needed a way out. And the pain was the only reminder that I had something to live for.
I started stitching up my wrists. When I was done I went downstairs. I heard the guys come in a few minutes ago. So I wanted to come down and greet them. I wore a long sleeve shirt today so they couldn't see my wrists.
- Hey Kate! We've got news for you! - Nathan told me.
- Oh what you finally got your first chest hair? - I joked at him.
We ended up laughing for five minutes. But then I said:
- So what's the news?
- We are going on tour! - Siva said to me. - and you get to come with us!
- Yay! When do we leave? - I asked.
- Tomorrow. - Jay said.
After that I ran up to my room to pack. I just threw random stuff in my suitcase. The suitcase from he orphanage. It was actually quite big though.
After I was done packing I went back downstairs. Nathan was talking on the phone, Siva and Max were playing checkers, Jay was asleep and Tom was eating. I was hungry too so I went into he kitchen and grabbed an apple.
- Whatcha eating? - Tom asked me. I swear we was the childish one in the group.
- An apple. - I replied. In the same tone.
- Okay. - he said.
I noticed I got a text message from my phone. Siva got me a new one for my birthday.
"I warned you. Stay away. Now you're gonna get it."
- What is it Kate? - Tom asked me.
I turned my phone to him. He looked at me with worried eyes.
I knew who it was.
- We have to get out of here as fast as we can. - He said to me.
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