Hidden Meanings

An Author's Power

I sat with my head resting on the curve of my palms, eyes trading the screen in a moment of shrewdness filled to the brim with irritation.

All I could do was click my tongue against the back of my teeth in disapproval- at myself, at the lack of ability to actually place words down on a page as a writer should.

Someone turned off my writing faucet where I needed words to live, let them drain when I tried to desperately to make them sing. It was affecting me, and badly.

Heaving a sigh, I let my fingers scroll through the word document. My deadline fell on the twenty-fourth- when I was supposed to have the next chapter down, and I wasn't even complete with this one.

Irritating.

Hesitating, my fingers hovered over the keyboard, looking at where the cursor was on the screen. It blinked at me, a line of black against the white of the document.

"Don't look at me like that," I muttered lowly.

Lucia turns towards the man, her heart jumping into her throat as he comes up behind her.

It's nothing to be afraid of, she tells herself, resting a gloved hand over her heart to hear the erratic beat that's encased in her chest.

As she exhales, her eyes flick over to the man. He holds a letter within a twitching hand, fingers trembling.

"What now, what now?" I mused, tapping a fingernail against my screen. Although my tone was light, my heart was heavy, stone instead my chest filled with cracks of irritation toward myself.

I had taken a break for nearly four months now, and there was still no goddamn spark. I hated it- I hated writer's block, I hated my own writing style, I hated the crap I spewed onto digital screen and called a 'chapter', and I hated my lack of ability to actually write.

I wanted to write as a career. Lousing around and doing nothing wasn't going to do anything.

He offers to her and bows over, shaking like a leaf. Once Lucia pulls it from his grasp, he stands upright.

"T-Thank you," he stutters out, and with a curt step, leaves the room.

She steps towards her desk to get an opener, exploring with her hands to find it while her eyes focus on the letter's writing.

On the front, it says 'to the manipulator'.

In a heartbeat, she stiffens. Fingers freeze in midair, arching and stiff as she reads the address again.

The manipulator.

Lucia couldn't count how many times she had turned things to her favor through lies and wit- not only that, but twisting the other's mind.

She has to do that.

She has to use manipulation. Otherwise, she couldn't have gotten back to Mako. It's necessary. She has to do it to survive- it's self-defense.

No, it's not, a taunting voice threatens at the back of her mind. You could have done it any other way. But no, you chose the way that only stains your pretty white petals darker.

But... I suppose you're not a white flower anymore, then? Seeing how much you've destroyed.

I paused there, letting my head fall back with a sigh. At the corner of the tab, a little (1) appeared- a notification from my friend on Wattpad, most likely.