Hidden Meanings

Against My Will [Zyibalt]

Uh, have fun commenting on this one.

"How long are you going to uselessly lay in the puddle?"

Over the dizzying colors of yellow and blue under my eyelids, something black crossed my vision. I cracked open an eye, squinting at the light in my body's response to the sudden amount. "...Cobalt."

"Rixen," she greeted. "Moronic as ever, I see."

I lifted a hand to shield my eyes. "Just tired."

At my response, Cobalt shook her head. Her frame was just a shouilette to my eyes, embraced by the rays of light. "...What time is it?"

"Two o'clock. It's going to rain soon."

I groaned, rolling onto my side. Sadly, my action was greeted with a mouthful of puddle water. "Yuck. Was I really here till six AM in the morning?" I grumbled, propping myself up on my elbow.

Shrugging, Cobalt extended a hand. "The guy down the road said everyone was here till eight, but he found you and a couple others sleeping in puddles."

I swept one of my drenched bangs out of the way of my vision, and grabbed Cobalt's hand with my other before she pulled me to my feet.

"Smooth, Rixen," she smirked. "You're a Devil Fruit user and soaked to the bone."

I let go of her hand, allowing mine to fall back to the side and tilted my head backwards, staring up at the sky.

"Come on," she said, pulling me out of my haze. "Ashita's worrying her ass off about you."

I lifted my shoulders in a lazy shrug. "She'll survive."

"Maybe so," Cobalt muttered,  grabbing my shoulders and turning me towards a certain direction. The touch sent a shiver down my spine- not going unnoticed by me. I had to stop the frown touching my lips at the sudden quiver.

Damn, this puddle water must be having an effect on me.

"You're shivering."

I glanced down, only then to realize my hands, resting near my sides, had curled into the fabric of my jacket like they were claws. "It's not too bad."

Glancing up at the sky, Cobalt frowned, the corners of her lips quirking down. "You know, Ashita is right. You look a lot like your dad when you're wet."

At his name, I became aware of the fact my grip tightened on my jacket. "Is that so?"

"Yeah. One of his greatest tales, according to her. Standing in the rain, brandishing his katana, Black Tears-"

"Kokurei."

She rolled her eyes in response. "Whatever."

"Go on, really- I totally want to hear how attractive Jaxson is standing in the rain."

"By that sentence, I'm assume you've heard this before."

I stopped mid-step, tilting my head to face her. "Yeah. Only a thousand times." A bitter tone was behind my words, barely heard.

And I once again started walking forward, my pace brisk.

"You don't like being compared to your father, do you?"

Right on the damn nail.

Deciding not to answer, I just surged forward. "When did you become so nosy?" I snapped. "This isn't like you."

"I've sorted stuff out," Cobalt responded. "A lot of shit out."

Something- no, someone, grabbed my arm and I attempted to wrench it away. But Cobalt's grip held strong, fingers digging into the cloth.

"Once again, do you hate being compared to your father, Jaxson Rixen?"

I turned so I could look at her. "No."

"You're lying."

"I said no, dammit!"

"And I said you're lying."

"Fine!" With a final tug, I ripped my arm away from her. "Yes! Happy now, you little shit?"

I had thrown the little insult her way, knowing exactly how she would react.

Her finger hooked onto my collar, dragging me back with alarming strength. I snarled, trying to twist any way to get out only to feel that shiver down my back.

What the hell is wrong with me?

"I dare you to say that again, Rixen," she whispered, her voice close to my ear. "I dare you."

Her breath ghosted over the skin of my cheekbones, causing the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up.

"I hate him," I whispered at last. "I hate him. I hate him so much."

Her grip loosened, but was still quite firm.

"I'm compared to him wherever I go. Bars, parties- everywhere. I'm not him, he is not me. People don't understand that."

Still silence.

"That's why I chose knives," my voice was soft. "To get away from the burden that he is. I was fantastic with swords, according to Wistern- but I wanted to put a difference between him and me."

No response, so I kept going. "And I would hear so much about his tales- how he saved Ashita from the bombed island, how when Kiyohisa was about to have his spine shattered, Jaxson hit the vital spot of his attacker and pulled him out."

I hear it everyday. How, according to them, according to everyone- I should be more like him."

Finally, Cobalt spoke. "Zyicho, do you know the difference I see between you two?"

"The fact I have golden eyes."

"Well," she agreed. "That's not a lie. But something else- look at me."

I glanced over, something churning in the pit of my stomach as I realized how close our faces were- our noses were nearly brushing.

Her cobalt-blue eyes- no doubt what she was named after- stared into mine as she mouthed something, cocking her head.

Holy shit.

My mind went into a state of numbness as I tried to register the fact her- Cobalt's- lips were pressed against mine.

A warm, giddy feeling seemed to spread through my body and limbs, despite the fact my mind was screaming get away from her, the vile human!

Cobalt.

Kissing me.

She pulled back, eyes flicking to the ground immediately.

"..."

"Rixen...you're blushing."

"Am not!" I protested, but I knew the truth behind her words- the cold sting in my cheeks had disappeared completely, replaced by a warm sensation.

Facing me, Cobalt went up on her tippy-toes to whisper in my ear. "I fell in love with one of you."

It was partly against my will to lean forward and kiss her again, partly against my will to cup her cheek with one hand.

Partly against my will to fall in love.