Bands: #3

"Dirty Laundry" Review.

GUYSSS THIS WAS REQUESTED BY THE AWESOME @PanickingCrybabys SO THANK THEM FOR GETTING ME TO WRITE IT. Or if you hate it then please don't blame them it's completely my fault if the review sucks dick.

BUT YES.

Also Wattpad just let me post so I'm super excited and y'all can expect a bunch of new chapters! The moment it stopped me from updating, I began experiencing more band references than Mandela effects. And I witness a crap ton of Mandela effects.

But anyway... LET'S GET TO THE REVIEW.

Just keep in mind that I've also got a J O B (dramatic effects 'cause Sara + work = wtf) reviewing bands and artists @ Stage Dive so check out this link if you wanna read my George Morris and soon Crystal Fairy (and American Grim and Fit for an Autopsy) album reviews and also a Storm the Sky concert review that'll be out after next Saturday's concert.

TO THIS REVIEW:
Dirty Laundry.

Dirty Frerard-fucking Laundry.

Yes, All Time Low have released a song by this title.

It's been over a week since that occurred, and I've been meaning to express my thoughts on it for a while now. (I finally decided to do so after a few people said, "Post a fourth book you lil' shit," and "Review this shiz, motherfucker!" In a polite manner, of course.)

So my thoughts on the track?

In order of thought:

1. What the fuck, ATL?

2. Dayuuummm this beat is catchy.

3. See ya, instrumentals...

4. Oh yay the chorus.

5. FUCK YES THIS IS MY JAM.

6. Are we gonna start questioning the title of this track yet 'cause wHAT.

7. DiRtY LaUnDrY LoOkS GoOd On YoUuuuuuUuUuUuuUuUUu

8. That ace tho... I made it into a video! (Making this a separate chapter yes there's gonna be three chapters on this song aT LEAST 'cause fuck it, I love ATL.)

9. Really. You signed with the Noodle Boys. What. RIP original fandom.

AN ACTUAL REVIEW:

All Time Low are back, and they're more controversial than ever! No, not in that Donald Trump sense, but in a "We're now with the Ramen motherfuckers and have a song named after a chore (well the basis of a chore)".
Let's not avoid the elephant in the room: Jalex is still a thing.
(Inner voice: SARA BE REAL, YOU FUCKHEAD.)
Right. Sorry. But #Jalex2020.
It's obvious that this track is drowning in synth and Alex's vocals are dominating just as much as BTS have been dominating the "most viewed music video in twenty-four hours" list.
It's not classic ATL. Classic ATL songs, for me, are just about anything off the "So Wrong It's Right" and "Nothing Personal" records. I'm not saying that change is bad, but this is extremely different for such a band. I'm loving this song; the lyrics are great and it sounds pretty good. Yeah it's overproduced and the first three minutes don't feature instruments, but it's still a good track! I've been looping it for a while now, but I still can't avoid the main problem: IT'S NOT ATL.
If Alex wants all the spotlight and a break from his bae, I'm all for him releasing a solo album with this kind of shiz on it. In fact, CAN THAT BECOME AN ACTUAL THING?!?!?!? I WANNA SEE THAT HAPPEN BEFORE I DIE.
He's got the voice for pure Pop, but it still works best for Pop-Punk. I know that solo albums don't work well for most band members but he'd kill that shiz! The only problem would be if he's successful and decided to fuck off from ATL 'cause FUCK NO I DON'T WANT THEM TO MCR.
Here's a summary: it's a catchy song that's barely passable as an ATL track and signifies no more than Gaskarth and Gaskarth only's decisions. The band have been left out of this one and it's a weak first release for a band like ATL. I'm looking forward to the new album though don't know exactly what I'm even looking forward to. The song is overproduced and Blake has a point when he says it sounds like something by The Chainsmokers but maybe ATL are just really desperate for a Grammy. (Seriously though: The Chainsmokers are too stupid to make a song with this complex synths so it's not really their style but I sense some Justin Bieber vibes which scares me shitless.)
The fact that ATL have now signed to the Ramen Dudes makes me want to throw a brick at them, but that's a matter for another time (aka in a moment).
Overall, a 4 for the song but knowing it's had to compete with "Dear Maria, Count Me In", "Therapy" and "A Daydream Away" plus numerous other songs makes me think, "Are ATL seriously selling out to the pure Pop bullshit and ending the era of beautiful, slightly different Pop-Punk?"
4/5 for the song.
3/5 for ATL who can obviously do better.
So overall a 3.5.
My thoughts on this are probably confusing sue me.

Heheh I realised I used the word "only's"... I don't know why that's funny but it's incorrect just deal with it.

That was one hell of an informal review! I'm sorry :((( I'll see if I could do a formal one on Stage Dive.

THE PROBLEM WITH FBR:
1. Look what happened to TØP. I don't wanna say that'll happen to ATL but 2015 Global TØP Crisis here we fucking come. Again.
2. There's this recurring theme of Ramen bands either losing all their members or hiatus'ing for too long.
3. Overproduction.
4. Selling out, it seems. All of them. To different extents, of course, but still.
5. I JUST DON'T TRUST FBR, OKAY? GOOGLE THEM YOU'LL SEE WHY. THEY'RE NOT VICTORY RECORDS BAD BUT THEY'RE BAD.

|-/

I FEEL AS THOUGH THE REVIEW SUCKS

I'M SO SORRY

also I feel as though the Chainsmokers x Coldplay, Imagine Dragons and Linkin Park songs need reviews. Thoughts?