Fix A Heart

Beam Me Up

In my head, I see your baby blues.
I hear your voice and I,
I break in two and now there's one of me with you.
So when I need you can I send you a sign?
I'll burn a candle and turn off the lights.
I'll pick a star and watch you shine. 

It was early September and Sharna was sitting outside on one of the patio chairs when her fiance came outside to find her. She had gone outside to read for a little while but had gotten lost in her thoughts and was just sitting there watching the clouds. They were out in Los Angeles for a little while doing some press for the show. They were actually taking a season off to accommodate some things that ABC had going on, however they were still doing some press things. Sharna and Val were the lead pros for the press tour.

"Hey you." He said startling her slightly. "Sorry."

"It's okay, what's up?" She said shrugging but shifting over so he could sit next to her.

"Nothing, I just came to check on you." He said settling down next to her. She lifted her body up and moved over to his chest tucking herself into him.

"Am I worrying you?" She said as her hand slipped under the hem of his shirt and rested on his belly.

"You've been quieter lately. I just wanted make sure you were okay." He said pressing his lips to her head.

"I...well....Rose." She whispered softly as she shifted into him a little better.

"She's been on your mind a lot lately huh?" Val asked knowingly. Ever since Sharna had told him everything, there would be days when she would just become quiet. She wasn't moody or upset, but just thoughtful.

"Well, it'll be two years here in a few weeks. She would have been about a year and a half."

"Babe." Val said softly drawing her in just a little bit as his hand ran up and down her arm.

"I don't mean to bring you down, I just, it's hard to imagine that. I mean would she have had my hair, my eyes, Paul's eyes. Whose personality. I just, I never got any of it."

"Princess, you don't bring me down ever. And I'm sorry you never got all that. I wish I could go back and fix it all for you. Give her back to you. What do you envision her like?" Val asked.

"I've never really thought about it." Sharna whispered.

"Never?" Val said shocked as he leaned up a little to look her in the eyes.

"Uh huh, I, well it happened and then I went back to work with Nick. I didn't take any time and I knew I couldn't let anyone see so I just sort of pushed it away. It wasn't until you mentioned kids that it really hit me again. I mean I think about her every day but I've never let myself envision her in that sense. It always made it somewhat easier if she was sort of a ghost."

"Shar, that's probably keeping you from healing. You never got to say goodbye or anything did you?"

"I can't say goodbye, she's my daughter." Sharna said sitting up immediately giving him a look.

"Whoa, not what I meant. I just meant some sort of closure. Something for you and for her to make it less of a hellish night mare. Something to remember her by. Something to celebrate her."

"I couldn't, I mean it happened, I think I took that day off and then was back at work immediately. Had I done anything like that I don't think I would have made it. I would have had to have done it on my own. I couldn't tell anyone. Even if I would have wanted the support, Paul was threatening me left and right at that point."