Side by side

67

Jenny's P.O.V

I've been in hell the past month and seeing him today breaks me. I know that he's very angry about my new job but it's what I have to do to protect myself. I can't be around him anymore, not after he hurt me that bad. I'm sure that he wouldn't have done it if I didn't ended it with him but it doesn't make hurt any less. He's a man whore and I knew it but I thought those days were behind him, but it's apparently just so easy for him to get under another right after. And then Tammy.. Tammy, come on! I don't know if I should believe him when he tells me that he's not feeling anything for her.

Marshall sits there with his notepad and headphones on writing. I know that this LA trip is gonna be so awkward now but it's only temporary, because after this trip then I'm never gonna see him again.

I grab my pillow, pluck some music in my ears, put the pillow against the wall and drift off to sleep.

...

"Jenny, wake up." I hear Marshall's voice and I wake up looking at him to standing with one of my earplugs in his hand. "Put your seatbelt on." I just nod and take the headset and put in my purse.

We drive in separate cars to the hotel and I get the keys to the rooms as soon as I arrive to the hotel.

When I get into my hotel room then I find Marshall's number and text him what room I'm in. It's weird to text him as I haven't texted him since that day. I begin to look through all of our messages, all the sweet texts he's wrote and I begin to shake. I get so emotional because I know what we had was real but I can't forgive what he's done.

...

It knocks on my door and I already know it's Marshall. I take his keycard and walk over to the door, I don't intend to invite him in and I just want to give him the key right away.

I open the door and Marshall pushes himself rudely inside even though he sees the key in my hand.

"Well, come inside Marshall." I say sarcastically.

"Where did you get a job?" He asks as i close the door. I turn around and look at him. He stands there with his hands in his pockets looking at me with a stern look.

"In a bank." I say.

"You want more in salary?" He asks. No I want to get away from you. "I'll give it to you. How much do you want?"

"Marshall, it's not about the salary and you know that." I sigh.

"How come you can't separate our private business with our work business?" He frowns. "You asked me to promise that nothing would change work wise if this didn't work. How come you're the one who's fucking running?"

"Because I can't work with you Marshall." I say as it's that simple.

"Can't or won't?" He asks.

"Both."

"I don't see the problem if you work like you've done the past month." Marshall frowns.

"These trips are what's wrong." I say.

"Do you really hate me that fucking much?" He asks.

"I don't hate you Marshall." I sigh.

"Apparently you do since you can't be around me." He frowns. It just seems like he doesn't get it, like.. wouldn't he be hurt if this was him? Wouldn't he find it difficult to be around me?

"I can't be around you because you hurt me Marshall." I frown.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you Jenny." He sighs and I can really feel that he's in pain. "But I don't want you to leave Shady Records and I fucking promise you that I won't hurt you again. I ain't gonna bring no bitches to the studio cus I actually don't want to. The only thing I want is you."

"No Marshall." I say and my voice shakes like hell because I get so emotional.

"Jenny.." He says as he walks towards me.

"No." I say putting my hand up. "Stop."

"Jenny, I'll do anything, just.."

"No." I cut him off and give him the card to his room. "Get out."

"Are you really gonna throw it all away?" He asks confused. Doesn't he have any idea of what he's done?!

"You threw it all away, not me!" I yell and I'm surprised that I raise my voice at him but right now I don't care. "You have no idea what you did and how serious it was Marshall!"

"Of course I do." He says softly. "But I think you should look at the fact that you made me believe that you were done with me."

"But it was Tammy Marshall." I say once again. "The girl you've been sleeping with on and off for a year."

"Yeah cus she's fucking easy Jen!" He says frustrated. "I deal with pain in a fucked up way, I fucking know that. Look at my life, I'm no good at dealing with feelings and pain in the right way." And a person like that is not someone who I want a future with. I don't wanna be worried as soon as we have problems.

"I just don't see a future with us." I say and I can see that my words hurt him.

"Are you for real right now?" He asks like he can't believe it.

"I can't be with a guy where I have to be worried every time we have problems." I make it clear to him.

"Did I fucking do anything in New York?" He frowns and he continues before I can answer him. "No! I only did this because you made it clear that we were done for real, so maybe we should make a deal that we shouldn't say shit like that unless we really mean it."

"Well, I really mean it now." I just say. I don't know if I mean this deep down but I think I do. I'm so overwhelmed with all these feelings and I can't position myself.

Marshall walks closer to me but I back away, but then he grabs my neck and smashes our lips together. What is he doing?! I try to pull away but Marshall forces the kiss. His lips.. I forgot how good they feel. I begin to relax and give in. I rest my hands on his chest and I'm so committed to this kiss. All my thoughts are gone and the only thing I have attention on is his lips.

Marshall suddenly pulls away and I honestly have no idea how long we've kissed.

"Don't tell me that it didn't mean something to you." He says. I look at him and I'm so confused. How could he win me over that easily? Does he think that he can just kiss me and then everything will be fine?! I feel anger because it feels like he tries to manipulate me right now. He knows how women have a weakness for him and he uses it. Fucking asshole!

"You honestly think a kiss can make me forget?" I ask and I don't give him a change to answer. "You're so ridiculously desperate and you think you can manipulate me and soft me up like you can with other women."

"You fucking kissed me back." He says confused.

"I may be in love with you but I'm not stupid." I state. He clearly underestimated me.

"I never say you were."

"Apparently, since you kissed me." I point out.

"Fuck yeah I'm desperate! I ain't gonna deny that." He admits. "I never wanted someone so bad as I want you Jenny, of course I get fucking desperate but I know you ain't stupid, never believe I think that."

"Will you just leave?" I ask him but he doesn't move, but he looks at me confused. "Please?"

"Fuck!" He hits the wall to his left before he leaves my room.

I'm uploading a day early because I know I can't make time for it tomorrow. I thought you wouldn't mind? Don't forget to comment and vote xoxoxo