Give Me Strength

1

I smoke to ease everything
I drink this liquor till I can't stand no more
I cut my skin to feel alive again
I skip meals because I want to look good
I pop these pills to feel tired
I do so much to take my pain away
I've done too much to try and live in peace,

All I do is harm to all those around me. he has been my bully for years now, I don't know why he is bullying me; it honestly makes no sense anymore

"Trying to hide from me, are you Howell" said the ebony haired boy, Phil Lester, I froze in my tracks, I couldn't say anything. "Hey I'm talking to you" he comes up really close to me and grabs me by the wrists, I flinch at his contact.

I'm trying hard not to let the tears escape as he kicks me in the stomach, I fall down as he continues to kick me, a few minutes later the bell rings. "Looks like you have been saved this time, see you after class Howell", he leaves and I'm left lying in the corridor hoping for someone, anyone to come, but the don't, no one ever does.

I make my way off the ground and instead of going to class like I should I walk to the nearest bathroom ignoring the names that are constantly thrown at me every single day. I walk in the stall and close they door.

I pull my blade from my jacket pocket. You're useless, you're fat, you're ugly and no one will ever love you. The words over go over in my head as I make cut after cut down my arms.

The bell for next period rings so I hurriedly wash my arms and pull down my long sleeves before hiding my blade and rushing to English, I hate English because I sit next to Phil.

I walk into class and is automatically greeted by the teacher, "Late again are we Daniel, i'm sorry but if you are late again then I have no choice but to call your parents". That can not happen, he can not call them, they will kill me if they find out, "Yes sir, it won't happen again," he motioned to my seat and I went to sit down.

The bell for lunch sounded and I waited until everyone else left before I decided to pack up and leave, I walked to my locker, head down. I reached my locker without being stopped, come on Dan just a little longer.

Phil's POV

It's lunch and all I wanted to do was mind my own business and eat lunch but the two "friends" that I eat with every day absolutely hate Dan and they want to make his life hell, I honestly dont know why, they said if I didn't destroy him then they would never talk to me again. I was walking down the hall with Chris and PJ when Chris spotted Dan.

"There's Dan, come on mate we'll wait right over here" Chris motioned for me to do what I have to go to keep my friends.
I swiftly turned him around and grabbed his wrists, I saw his face turned into a look of pain, i'm not holding him that hard so it shouldn't be hurting him. I looked over at Chris and Pj begging for them to say I can let him go but no, they wanted me to keep going.
I dropped him on the ground and I kicked him a few times before I stopped and he ran away. I put on a fake smirk as I walked over to them, "that will teach him not to be a faggot, come on boys" I said as we walked away to out next class.