Give Me Strength

15

After years of pain and torture, even my abusive parents. All the scars and bruises that littered my body. And the mental straining it's caused me to be the guy that you see today.

Even though my precious little Phil caused a lot of these scars and bruises to try and keep his idiotic friends, he did apologize to me and he has stuck up for me and helped me so many times and honestly if it wasn't for him I don't think I would be alive right now.

I woke up on the lounge, there was a loud noise.

"Fuck it" even with his profanities, his voice was still as angelic as I remember.

"Phiiiiiil" I whine at him. "What did you do, you silly goose" my words childish.

I looked him over and saw him sweeping up a glass. "Sorry to wake you, I dropped a cup" he was guilty, but had no need to be.

"don't worry Lion, I needed to get up anyway, did you forget we had school"
I chuckle slightly walking up to him and wrapping my hands around his waist and pulled him close while nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

"Oh shit, is that the time" I saw the time on the microwave and panicked slightly. I grabbed Phil's hand as we ran out of the house towards the school. Normally I wouldn't care less about school because it was so fucking horrible but for some reason I really wanted to go. It might be the fact that Phil stuck up for me against those bullies or and dare I say it, i'm becoming happy. Doubt it, I have to see it to believe it.

It was math first, I hated math but needed to pass so I went. I felt so lonely without Phil.

All I want is to be at home with him cuddled up on the lounge watching a movie or just simply sleeping. I love him and I never want to lose him. He doesn't want to be with some worthless, fat, ugly and stupid person like you.

Oh no, the voices are back. I try to tell myself not to listen to them but I can't help it. What if he doesn't love me, what if he ends up hurting me again. Of course he doesn't love you.

I get knocked out of my thoughts by a piece of crumpled up paper that comes flying at me. I look around and see Chris smirking at me. I know this won't be good so I hesitantly pick up the paper and read it.

We haven't forgotten about you Howell, better watch your back cause we are coming after you. Oh and you better not tell lover boy or we'll go after him too.

-Chris and PJ

I looked at them again before returning a smirk, scrunching up the paper and throwing it in the bin. This can't be happening, they are gonna hurt me again and I can't tell Phil or they'll hurt him too, I cant let him get hurt. You deserve the pain you freak.

I walk out of class quickly and half sprint towards the back of the school, I slide down the wall and put my knees to my chest. I cant hold it any longer and I start to cry. I grabbed in my pocket and feel a familiar object.

I have been clean for a little over two and a half weeks, but this feeling is too much. What do I do.

I start playing with it in my fingers, with no intention of using it... This time, when suddenly I hear two voices close by.

"Oh look Chris, its the little emo faggot" he points to Chris who gives an evil looking smirk.

"Oh my god, he has a blade, he really is an emo" Chris walks up to me and takes the blade out of my hand and starts mocking me by pretending to cut himself.

"look I'm Dan Howell and I cut for attention" he says it in a mocking voice while fake crying.

He throws it at my feet and when I went to pick it up, PJ kicks me in the stomach causing me to fall on the cold, hard concrete below me. I wince as my head comes in contact with the ground. The kicks keep coming and eventually I black out.

Phil's POV

I've been waiting for Dan so we can get lunch for ages but he hasn't showed up yet, which is really weird for him. I start searching the school, I went to his classroom, the library, the front office. My last resort was to try near the back of the school. I walked out of the door and saw someone lying there. I freaked out, it was... DAN.

"Dan, Dan, Dan. Please be OK." I started shaking him. He wouldn't wake up, from the corner of my eye I saw something shining. It is a blade, it's his blade.

"Please Dan, tell me you didn't" I didn't even noticed but i started crying.

I decided to tell a teacher, then they called an ambulance. The ambulance arrived and took Dan to the hospital. I was so worried.

I never once left his side, I needed to make sure he was alright. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost. Although there is still one question that has yet to be answered, how did this happen. Did he hurt him self or did someone do this to him.

I went to the bathroom, and when I returned I could see Dan start to wake up, I rushed to his side.

"Oh my god Dan, you scared the living daylights out of me" I was relieved to see him finally awake.

"What happened, and where am I" I'm not surprised that he doesn't remember.

I grabbed his hand rubbing circles on the back of his hand.

"You passed out bear, I found you at the back of the school, it was really scary" a tear formed in my eye begging for release.

"I'm sorry Phil" his voice filled with guilt. "Don't worry about it bear, we'll talk about it when we get out of here."

"Can I please leave"

"I will check" I left the room, returning back a few minutes later.

"the nurse said as long as you feel OK then you can leave" I was happy about this and I could tell he was too.

We left in mums car and started on the journey home.