Give Me Strength

27

We followed the lady into the small but cosy looking room and sat in the chairs making sure we were next to each other.

"Nice to see you again Phil, and it's nice to meet you Dan" she looked at me with warm eyes. I didn't know Phil was seeing a counselor, was it because of me?

"Um nice to meet you" I spoke up finally not looking at her completely. "How's it going Phil" I looked at him waiting for him to speak. "Better now that Dan is home"

"I see that" she looks my direction. "And how are you going Dan" I shrugged my shoulder. I didn't want to tell some lady everything about me when I just met her. Plus I would feel ten times worse about myself if I had to tell her. My issues are my own business. I now feel worse that Phil went through all this strife because of my idiotic actions, why am I such an idiot who only thinks of himself. I care about Phil so much and I never wanted to hurt him as much as I did.

After 45 minutes of Phil talking and me mostly listening, the bell rings meaning we can finally go home. We say our goodbyes and leave the room and make our way to the front of the school because Phil's mum said she will pick us up.

We are greeted by Phil's mum giving us a big hug. I jump in the back and Phil in the front and we say goodbye to the school for today and leave. The car ride was quiet, my head filled with thoughts. Mostly, what would happen if I died? Would anyone really miss me? I just wish I had an answer. I have some kind of thought about it but end up shaking it off.

I hear a sound of the car door shutting and I realized that we have arrived back at home. My door swings open revealing a very concerned looking Phil. I give him a look as to say 'it's okay' he nods his head and he hold out his hand for me to hold, which I do. Phil is wearing a loose long sleeve top and... What the hell is that...

I say nothing but instead I drag him into his room and lock the door.

"What's wrong Dan" he questions and I looked at my shoes not really sure of what I am supposed to say. I walked up to him and pull his sleeve up to reveal heaps of tiny red destruction lines littered up his arm, it looks the same on his other arm. I drop his arm and put my hands to mouth in shock.

Why would Phil do this, he has always been so happy and this not something he would ever do. It's all my fault, my depression is rubbing off on him. I'm causing him to hurt himself. I felt a tear run down my cheek.
"W-Why" I choke out as tears spill from his eyes, he looks so ashamed at what he's done.

Phil's POV

Oh shit...

I fall down onto the bed and desperately try to cover up my ugly scars. He probably thinks I'm completely disgusting. I feel him tackle me in a massive hug. I wince as he knocks my arms but ignore it.

"So-Sorry Dan, I tried to stay strong for you but I couldn't. Everyone was so horrible to me so I thought it would take the pain I feel on the inside and it did for a bit but I just realized how stupid it was and tried to stop but I quickly became addicted to the pain." my voice was croaky as I tried to get the words to exit his mouth. It's so easy to start and it's so hard to stop.

"It's okay Lion, and I am going to do whatever I can to help you stop" he then moved closer connecting out lips together. We were now lying down, lips still connected moving in perfect sync. I ripped his shirt off revealing his tanned body, I disconnected our lips as I slowly kissed down his body, occasionally hearing him moan from the contact.

I smiled. It's so easy to control him right now.
"C-come on Phil, k-keep g-going"i tugged at them hem of his jeans, teasing him a little.

I hear my name come from Dan's mouth and I lift my head up crawl up towards Dan's waiting lips and pressed firmly onto them. I suck at sweet spot in his neck, leaving purple marks all over, he gripped at my hair and it drove me wild, I kept suckling at his neck making him go crazy.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
"boys, why is the door locked" we panicked to get dressed and clean up.

I ran over and opened the door and Dan pretended he was asleep.

"Shh, sorry mum. Dan fell asleep and didn't want anyone to wake him" she seemed to believe so she told me dinner was ready and we should come down stairs now.

I got up and kissed Dan. Before engulfing him in a massive hug.

"Too bad she interrupted us, I was having so much fun"

"I guess we'll have to continue what were were doing later but next time it's my turn." he winks at me made and we made our way to the kitchen for dinner. Damn Dan is hot, i'm surprised he's a virgin because he sure doesn't act like one. Seeing mum was awkward, I don't think she quite believes Dan was sleeping and she didn't look at us or talk to us at all the whole time we were having dinner , it was kinda funny actually.

A/N

I know this chapter was short and shit but omg they did the nasty...

And Dan found out about Phil's self harm.. My poor Philly.. I'm so sorry.
Anyway thank you for reading. Byyyye