Give Me Strength

4

I woke up on the floor... Ahh fuck, my goddamn head. I got up and stretched before checking my phone.

Phil: Are you ok
          Sent: 1:33

Phil: Answer me please
          Sent: 2:46

Phil: I'm getting worried now
          Sent: 4:29

Phil: I'm sorry for everything
          Sent: 5:58

i'm confused, does Phil care about me- of course he doesn't care about you, why would he care about a freak like you who is fat, ugly and cuts himself.
I ignored him and decided to jump in the shower before school. The water was the familiar burning that I have grown accustomed to. I got dressed into my usual black jeans with my dark grey jumper. I checked my phone, 8:45 which meant I had 15 minutes to get to school.

I left the house, raining.. Greeeeeat.. I put my hood up and my earphones in, I walked into school just as the the bell went.

English.. I walked into class and saw the only spare seat was next to..... Phil.  I let out a sigh and shuffle to my seat keeping my head down making sure I don't make eye contact with Phil.

"Hi" Phil's voice sounded in my ears but I ignored him and kept my head down. Suddenly a neatly folded note with messy writing comes into view in front of me. I hesitantly pick up the note, it read.

"Since you won't listen to me I thought I would just write a note instead. What I said I the park was genuine and I'm so sorry if I ever made you feel like shit. So if you ever want to be friends, just come and find me.
P.S Can you please tell why you cut yourself, I want to help."

I felt a tear in my eye then quickly looked at Phil, he gave me a smile and I looked down, folding the paper and sticking in my pocket.

I raised my hand. "Sir can I please go to the bathroom" I said in a very shaky voice. "Yes, hurry up Howell"

I ran out of the classroom and quickly and make my way through the empty halls to the bathroom, just like I was in only the other day. I closed the door and sat on the floor shaking. What does he mean. I pulled out the familiar shape of the item I have grown to love, my blade. I made 10 deep cuts on each arm and 3 semi deep cuts down my chest. Just as I started fading from all the blood loss, the door opened revealing two ocean blue eyes, then black.

Phil's POV

After I gave Dan my note I waited patiently for the outcome. He look at me with tears in his eyes but instead of talking to me he asked to used the bathroom but he looked like he was about to breakdown so I followed him. I saw him turn towards the bathroom. Please no Dan, don't do what I think you're going to do.

I waited a minute just in case but instead of a flush, I heard crying. It was Dan crying. I quickly opened the door to find him sitting on the floor, blade in hand with multiple cuts on his body, they were deep cuts and he was losing way too much blood.

"Oh no, omg omg omg please be OK Dan." I lifted him and walked him over to the sink. He's alive but only just.

"Wake up Dan, I need you so much right now". I said really hoping for some kind of response.
"P-Phil, w-what happened". I heard his voice and a wave of relief rushed over me.

"You're at school, y-you cut yourself again," I said looking down.

I started cleaning all the blood and grabbed some cloth that I had in my bag and wrapped his arm up.

"Umm Phil." I heard Dan say,
"Yeah" I said looking into is chocolate brown eyes. "Why are you helping me, I mean you literally made my life hell for years causing me to do this, only to have go home terrified that my parents are gonna hit me." he was starting to cry by this point, which caused me to tear up.

"I am so fucking sorry Dan, if I had known this would happen I never would of done this and I know that it's no excuse whatsoever but I really would like to be friends, because we'll I don't have any."

We were in silence for a little while before Dan chimed in. "We have been in here a while and it's probably a bit suspicious".

We walk out and back down the same empty halls we did before until we the English classroom, we walk in only to be greeted by out very angry English teacher.

"Where have you two been, I did send you out separately and yet you come back together 20 minutes later, do either of you care to explain or shall I just give you a detention and you can tell me then."

We walked to our seats and grabbed out our "work".

The rest of the day went by fast, I found Dan at recess and lunch so that I could sit with him, i was serious about us being friends. I noticed that he didn't eat, which was very strange but just pushed the thoughts away.
Dan didn't say much but didn't make any signs of wanting me to leave so I stayed with him.

Final bell went, Dan and I made our way to the detention room on the complete other side of the school. We walk in, the teacher greeted us and we took our seats quietly. I was playing with my sleeves and when I looked over at Dan he was drawing something, i'm not entirely sure what but it looked really good.

Detention finished, Dan and I went out separate ways and headed off home.