All We Have (Book 2)

14

Jane

The bedroom was a disaster. I was just now getting around to putting all of Colson's shit back in the closet. First I was gonna pack it all up and make the guys come get it but then I decided I was just gonna burn it. Yep, I was gonna destory this motherfuckers shit. I was going to destory all of his stuff like he did me. I'll admit I had a moment, a total lapse in judgement. I blame it on the pregnancy hormones. Thank God Dub showed up and prevented me from possibly burning the house down. What can I say? I was beyond angry. I was hurt. I was more hurt than before.

The cheating was one thing but getting another woman pregnant was something else. How would you feel if your husband got another woman pregnant while you were married and you struggle with infertility? You would feel totally betrayed. You would feel less as a woman because another woman could give your husband something that at the time you never thought you could. That's how I felt.

I'm not sure if or when I will allow him to come back to the main house. For now he can live with the guys. The only good thing that had actually came from this is that for the past week I haven't seen his face. I shouldn't be happy about it but I am. I haven't personal talked to him but everyday he sends one of the guys up to talk to me and relay messages on his behalf.

He's even gotten Casie in on it because he knows I won't talk shit to her. Casie doesn't really know what's going on though. Colson told her he was staying down with the guys so that he could work on a new album and he didn't want to run in and out of the house while I was trying to rest. I guess that made sense to Casie because she didn't seem to question it. She would go down there to work on homework and then come back up to eat dinner and talk about how her dad misses us and hopes he can come home soon. Smh

I was getting pissed just thinking about it. I think what was making this even worse is that I can't reach my box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch! Colson would always put everything up so fucking high because he would forget that Casie and I couldn't reach it. I'm pregnant so I can't reach up to grab it!

I started to sob uncontrollable. Being pregnant has made me become so emotional over the dumbest shit. I took a wooden spoon and tried my best to knock the box onto the counter. I need to invest in a stand up stool. Curse you Colson!

"Move, let me get that before you hurt yourself." Colson said appearing almost out of nowhere.

What in the hell is he doing here?!

"Why are you here!?" I asked

"Chill." He said as he reached up to get the box, "I didn't know you were here. I saw your car was gone and I came up to get a few things. Have you been crying?" He asked

"Dre took my jeep to get an oil change, but I'm sure he told you that." I spat

"Actually he didn't. You could've asked me to do it for you. And you never answered my question. You look upset."

"I'm fine!" I yelled as I snatched the box of cereal from his hand.

"Take whatever it is you need and leave." I spat as I made my way up the stairs.

Colson

I really didn't know Jane was here. When Dre left out I thought he was going with the guys but I guess he didn't. I'm not gonna lie. A part of me was hoping she was actually here. I just wanted to see her in person. Casie told me she looked really tired and I could see it too.

Aside from that she looked like she had been crying. I know its because of me. As if this pregnancy wasn't already hard enough, I had just made it even harder. I still remember the look on her face when I told her. I thought about it everyday. It replayed in my head over and over again. I had hurt my wife in the worse way and I just expected her to forgive and forget. Expect she couldn't forget. Now we had a reminder of what I had done, a child. This isn't something that could just be swept under the rug and forgotten.

I had to get out of my feelings so I decided to move some of the things in the cabinet down a shelf so that when she needed something she could easily access it. I didn't want her to hurt herself or the babies. She probably shouldn't be eating cereal anyways but Dub told me she was having a hard time keeping anything down. I feel bad that I can't be here to help her like I need to.

Now I was headed upstairs to the study where I thought Jane would be. I had a sigh of relief when I walked in and she wasn't there. I went over to the computer and logged into my email. I found the email that my attorney sent me and I printed out the paper work. I grabbed everything and then logged off.

I grabbed a few things out of the closet and I could tell things had been moved around. Now I know Dub wasn't kidding when he said she was gonna destroy my stuff. I took what I needed and then sent a quick text to Gina.

Me: Meet me in 15 at the same place we met last time. Don't forget to bring Alex.

937-352-5014: Did you do what I asked?

Me: Everything is out in the open now. I need to see you now, don't be late.