First Love (David & Liza)

Chapter 44, part 1

May, 24th, 2016 / Tuesday

"It will be over soon."

First the roses, then Heath, then Gabbie... Am I supposed to know what that means? Why does everyone keep saying it and most importantly, what will be over soon? School? My favorite show? If it's one of those stupid "the world will end in two months" prophecies, than I'm not buying it! I hate being kept in the dark. I would never understand what people find wrong and difficult in telling the truth to others in their faces. I think it's as simple as tying your shoes and it would save everyone a lot of trouble and pain. Keeping secrets and hiding stuff in attempt to "protect" someone is the worst and sadly the most common mistake people do. Mostly because almost every time it ends in the most disastrous way possible.

"I always keep my promises."

Well, if you ask me, that's highly negotiable. Ok, maybe in the past, when everything between us was sparkly rainbows and cute, fluffy unicorns, it was true and I could've believed that. Correction, I believed that. But things had changed drastically since New Year. Now they're upside down, twisted in the worst kind of way and he doesn't even seem to want to try and fix them. If he wanted to make it better, he wouldn't avoid me and he definitely wouldn't be with her. So why should I believe him again? Does he expect me to just sit aside and do nothing, because he'd promised something a long, long time ago? Does he expect me to just patiently wait and watch him having fun with another girl right in front of me? Does he expect that after he's finally done with her I will be there with my arms wide open? If he does, then he's definitely delusional!

And don't get me started with her! She's the one and only reason for everything good in my life to come crashing down and smash into tiny little pieces. She's entirely responsible for my sad, dreadful existence. I think that's it's time for her to finally come face to face with the consequences of her evil actions.

But on the other hand, what did I do? Absolutely nothing! I've ran away as fast as I could from everything and everyone, I've crawled under my bed covres and stayed comfortably hidden there for five months. Five months. That's a way too long period of time to feel sorry for yourself. I still can't believe I've been such a coward and waist valuable, precious time in self pity. I can't believe that I emphatically refused to defend myself when I knew the horrible things I was publicly accused of were totally false and made up by some red-haired psycho. Honestly, I'm more than disappointed and ashamed of myself for letting this insanity go as far as it had gone by now. I can feel the anger starting to slowly burn inside me and soon taking over my entire consciousness.

I should have done something, anything. I should have fought for the people she'd taken forcefully from me, for what was mine and then maybe things should have turned out differently. Perhaps, if that night ended in a diverse way, I would now be the old me, a happy person with an adorable boyfriend and a group of crazy friends. Finding those awesome people was one in a lifetime chance that I stupidly tossed away so easily, so quickly when things went wrong. Unfortunately, in this very moment all those "could've" and "should've" won't help me at all. I have to find a way back to them,I need to talk to them. I have so much to say, so many questions to ask. I desperately need the answers and that's exactly what I'm going to get. It doesn't matter if it's going to be the easy or the hard way, I'm going to get those people to listen, I'm going to get these answers and nothing can come in my way. And I know exactly which person I'm going to put under interrogation first. You don't know it yet, but I'm coming for you, Chase!

The bell loudly rings, announcing the end of the last period and the end of my 45-minute long internal battle. I look down and wrinkle my nose as I see that I almost made a hole with my pen through the open Chemistry textbook before me. I stand up, hastily shoving the textbooks in my backpack and storm out of the classroom, determined to meet my newest friend as quickly as possible before I start over thinking and hesitating about my intentions. Ever since we've met he's been my ride to and from school, so there is only one place he'd be waiting for me. I quickly make my way through the overcrowded halls and towards the exit. As I step out of the building my eyes land on Chase's tall figure, leaning on his black Camaro. His face lights up when he spots me, but the smile slowly turns into a scowl as I approach him.