First Love (David & Liza)

Chapter 48

May 27th, 2016 / Friday

When you refuse to forgive and accept, you are punishing yourself for the mistakes of others. When you hold inside those crushing feelings, when you are self-pitying and resentful, then the problem is all yours. You unconsciously give up your freedom by getting into the role of a victim. When you refuse to forgive, you agree to feel powerless, hurt, depressed, and deprive yourself of the right to choose, of the right to release and to proceed in a pure state.

Forgiveness is, no doubt, a noble act. It means to overcome your ego, to clean your mind from the painful feelings of hatred, indignation, vengeance. To liberate yourself from the past and to accept reality, to stop feeling anger toward someone who has done something wrong, to stop blaming. Forgiveness is more for the forgiver than for the man who wants to be forgiven.

I made the right choice by forgiving David, there's no doubt in that too. But I didn't expect what my decision would cause.

It's been a horrible day at school. I didn't forget to write my homework if that's what you thinking of. No, it was much worse than that. I was the center of attention. And I hated every part of it. I will never understand what do people find so interesting in shoving their curious noses in someone else's personal life? Don't they have one of their own? Oh, wait! Sorry, let me explain why. Are you ready? Ok, here it goes!

Today I arrived to school with David and we walked hand in hand through the halls.

Ahh, shocker, I know! There were a bunch of not well muted whispers, a lot of pointing and tons of weird glances at my direction all day. If I walked into a room the people in it immediately started staring and discussing me. Even the lunch lady in the cafeteria stared at me like I've grown a third hand or a second pair of eyes during the night. I have to admit that the looks on other students faces were pretty entertaining and funny especially when Gabbie hugged me in the middle of the cafeteria before we sat down on the same table for lunch. I was laughing hysterically on the inside. But for the rest of the time when I was alone, I actually felt like I was a walking freak show. And if I have to be honest, I've never been more happy that the week is over. But the one thing that calms me down is the fact that like every other new and juicy gossip, this one will find its death by Monday. At least I really hope so!

"Hello, princess!" David greets me with a big smile when I sit next to him in his car after almost running away from the school building. "Did you miss me?" He leans closer, the smile on his face getting bigger and bigger, causing the butterflies in my belly to do multiple somersaults. "Because I did." He places a surprisingly quick peck on my lips, which makes me a little irritated.

"You dreamt of yourself? That's new! I didn't know you became so self-absorbed. Hm, I guess people really do change over time." I tease him, shifting my eyes from his now frustrated face towards the open window. A few seconds pass in complete silence as I wait for his response.

"Oh, no you didn't!" Before I manage to look back at him his hands wrap around me, his fingers start dancing on the both sides of my body. I can't hold it anymore and my loud laughter fills up the car.

"No, David! S... stop! Stop it, p... please!" The lack of breath causes me to stutter as I try to escape his tickling grip, but with no avail.

"Only if you say you missed me!" I hear his voice throughout my laughter.

"Fine! F... fine! I m... missed you!" The tickling immediately stops, but I'm still imprisoned in his warm embrace.

"See!" He hugs me tighter, kissing my cheek and resting his chin on my shoulder. "It wasn't so hard."

"Ugh, whatever!" I roll my eyes at his comment. "Now let's get going, I've got a whole house to clean before my parents get home." He mumbles something like "You're no fun" before placing another kiss on my cheek and letting me free. Still smiling, I make a sad attempt to straighten my clothes as he drives off the parking lot. "I can't remember when was the last time I laughed so hard." His hand shoots to hold mine, giving it a light squeeze and I glance at him. Although he's looking at the road, his face is slightly twisted in a painful grimace which immediately makes me regret what I said. "Sorry, that came out wrong. I didn't mean to..." It's my turn to squeeze his hand.