Qur'anic Reflections

Day 6 + 7 : Control anger, Pardon and Overlook

الَّذِينَ يُنْفِقُونَ فِي السَّرَّاءِ وَالضَّرَّاءِ وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ ۗ وَاللَّهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ

(Sahih International)
Who spend [in the cause of Allah ] during ease and hardship and who restrain anger and who pardon the people -  and Allah loves the doers of good;

-Sura Aal-E-Imran, Ayah 134

This was supposed to be two separate chapters but they're both so connected that I had to put them in the same. 

Of all the feelings a human being experiences, anger is the ugliest and the most destructive. 

If you've ever observed, we lose all our sense of understanding when we're angry. We say things we would normally never say and later regret them. 

Anger is a fire that has engulfed years of friendships and generations of relationships. 

As a human being, there will always be situations that trigger this powerful emotion, but we need to understand one thing here. 

We need to control our anger and not let the anger control us. 

"If you want to look at the character of a person, look at him when he's angry"

If we ever stopped for a minute and looked at ourselves when we're angry, we'd dislike what we would be looking at. 

Ugly frowns and scowls. 

As they mar our beautiful faces, they also mar the beautiful relationships we have with people. 

It is not an easy thing, to gulp down the anger even when it burns your insides. 

But it was the way of the prophets and the saliheen. 

No matter what the situation, Rasool Sallalahu Alayhiwasallam never lost his cool. He understood that decision making and lashing out could never go together. 

When we lose ourselves and lash out on someone, we give them a part of our energy. We give them our negativity in a way that only tires us. It is not a good feeling to experience, nor one to be felt at. 

We need to take lessons from the Sunnah. 

Prophet Peace be upon him said, 

"Should any of you be angry, if he is standing, he must sit down, if he is sitting, he must lie down. Drink some water and say "Aoozubillahi Minashhaitan nir rajeem" 

This is the most effective way of dealing with anger --to take your mind off it. 

Drink some water to cool off and seek refuge from Satan because Anger is from Shaytan and he loves to sow discord among people. 

One interesting thing I've discovered is about the word used in the ayah I've mentioned above

وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظ

The root word for كا طنين is 

ك ظ م 

Which means to gulp down water. 

You know how when you gulp down water, it is gone and there is nothing left in your throat?

That's how Allah advices us to control our anger.

To restrain anger is not to hold it down and let it brew inside you. This turns out to be counterproductive because the more you try to bottle up something, the force with which it comes out later is much much greater.