Qur'anic Reflections

Reality Check

Assalamu alaikum! Man, it's been a while! A year to precise.

I just want to start off by thanking everyone who is still holding onto Qura'nic Reflections even on the days I wasn't. I have been off wattpad for so long that when I get emails about all of you voting for or commenting on this book, it feels like another lifetime for me.

But it's those very emails that have got me back, the lovely words people have left here, reminding me that there was a time when I had time for the things that I love and thankful that even on the days I am not upto doing some good, this book still continues to be read by someone across the world, redeeming me and adding a teeny tiny reward to my book of deeds. 

So JazakAllah Khair Kaseeran. I know I keep saying that you reading this means the world to me, I know I say it all the time but I couldn't reiterate on how true that is, how much your giving time to my words means to me, in my blood and bones and deep down to my soul. 

Well, that was cheesy...

So anyway, let's start off with today's reflection. It is something personal to me, as are all these reflections. A lot has happened to me since the last time I wrote here. I've finished almost 2 years of my residency, got married (yes I'm that old) and well yeah basically relocated my home and life and... priorities. 

You know in life, there is a point when you are at your peak, you're being productive, you're praying 5 times a day, praying tahajjud, you're sticking to your routine like a hawk and you're so pleased with your life and how much progress you're making. These times are usually the days you are still a student, at school or college or university and your world is just about studying and making something out of your life.

But when you grow older,  you don't enjoy that privilege anymore. You can't be carefree anymore because as you grow older you're not responsible for only yourself anymore. Your life is not just about you, it's about your family, your work, your spouse, your children etc etc..

You start a job and you're now burdened with responsibilities that have deadlines, scary bosses, annoying clients or patients, or whatever your line of work is.

And then maybe if you're an oldie like me you will get married and it's not necessarily a bad thing but your life starts changing, in ways that the student you is not used to. Your ranks are raised, you're not just a daughter or sister now, you're a wife, a sister-in-law, a daughter-in-law on top of all the things that you already were. There is a certain maturity that you gain, juggling between these roles and you could be blessed with the best new family ever (Alhumdulillah) yet there will be days that you will have to change your priorities. 

And it's just sad that the first things that you let go of, are things related to your deen. Unfortunately, and I wouldn't say this if I weren't trying to make a point, since the past 2 years my Tafsir has taken a back seat. My Tahajjud has been forgotten somewhere between night duties and post duty hangovers and wedding festivities and what not. There was a time when this book was the most precious thing to me and I would scramble to finish my goals and it's just sad to see how long it's been since I uploaded. 

So many days lost, 11 months worth of opportunities, all lost in the white noise of everyday monotony.

Then comes a beautiful month, with beautiful nights when you are all alone with nothing but just your tasbeeh and your soul, at peace, at one with its purpose. And you realise how long it's been since you gave yourself time to be one with your Lord. 

SubhanAllah Ramadan reminds you of your true potential, how you can be without food and water and work in the humid and hot conditions but still manage to pray, fast, stay awake at night, recite, revise, reunite with the person you never thought you could be.