Qur'anic Reflections

Dreams Do Come True

What is man, if not an insignificant speck in the universe, floating recklessly, wishing furiously, hoping against hope to become something significant?

What is man, if not a pulsing thing, a beating heart yearning for his calling?

And what is Allah, if not a glowing light, the glimmer beyond the horizon, the maker of all things significant and insignificant, the listener of hearts and cries of His creation?

I write this with the blessing of a miracle looming over my head, a feeling of gratitude deep inside my heart.

I wonder why we don't feel like this all the time. Wonder why we never acknowledge the blessing that every day is, every moment that our breath isn't just air and every moment that our life means something. 

 What happened to us, that we have stopped believing in our dreams, our efforts and that if these two fail, there is a Lord above us Who never fails us?

Dreams do come true, and when they seem like they don't, there is even better one waiting for you.

 Sometimes, it's not your dream but the dream for you that comes true.

The last time you read from me was before my entrance exam. The weeks that followed went busy with hospital shifts and duties until one night, when I was on call, the results were out.

I was a wreck. Granted I had gotten only 2 substantial months to prepare for an exam that requires a year at least, I had still expected myself to do better than this. I cried for weeks because I was stuck in a grey zone. With my rank, it was difficult to tell,I could get any branch or college I wanted except the ones I wanted.

People didn't understand. They thought I would be satisfied. It was a good score --great even -- since I had cracked it in my first attempt while others waited for a year at the least, to get to where I was now.

But it wasn't good enough for me. My relatives called me ungrateful, but they didn't understand how much I had wanted to do better than this.

I was helpless at this moment, wondering where my life would take me now.

Would I achieve my dream of doing residency in Internal medicine?  Would I get into the college I want to? Or would I have to compromise my branch?

This was unthinkable for me, because since the moment I entered my hospital training, I wanted to take up Internal Medicine for my residency.

I cried so much it hurt deep inside, mostly because I had always gotten what I'd wanted. This was a lesson on self control for me.

I was stressed out for weeks. Couldn't eat or sleep. I put in my options for the allotment of courses. I don't remember the last time I was this helpless and weary.

 I had three colleges in mind. The first one was the one I had already worked at, and fallen in love with. But at this point, I was sure I wouldn't make it to the first two of my options. 

My best shot was my third option but it had only 3 seats and there were 27 people above me.  If I didn't get here too, I would have to move out of the city and look for options there.  

I was so so scared. I couldn't imagine not doing Gen Med or having to stay away from family!

So I prayed. I woke up for Tahajjud and cried and prayed and begged Allah to listen to me. I begged him to forgive me for my moment of impatience after the results.  I begged him to forgive me for being ungrateful but I wanted Int Med so bad it hurt to think of anything else.

I told Him how much I wanted it. I asked Him where I would go if He didn't answer my prayer. I told Him I was helpless, I had nothing in my hands except my hardwork and the duas I made.