Shawn Mendes Imagines

Broken-Part 1

Warning: Self harm and abuse included. So read at your own risk.

Your POV

I snuck past the sleeping body of my boyfriend and grabbed my phone from the top of the shelf. I tiptoed out of the room and opened the door slowly, trying not to wake the man. I shut the door and ran down the cold steps, onto the streets. The rain soaked through my white T-shirt and my make up began to run down my face.

*Time skip*

I unlocked the door of my old apartment and wandered  in. When I got together with Jacob we moved into his apartment within the first few weeks. He told me to sell this place but I never did. I don't really know why I didn't but I won't need this place soon. I dropped my keys on the sofa and entered the bathroom and left the door open. I ran the tap of the bath and opened the medicine cabinet, pulling out a small box. I took out my phone and began  to text my friend...Shawn.

I have been in love with him for years but he would never feel the same way. I tried to move on and get over him. That's why I got with Jacob. I thought he would stop me from loving the brown eyed boy but it never worked. Jacob saw how I was around Shawn and he stopped me from seeing him and talking to him...That's where it all started.

Jacob began to take my phone away and lock me in the house. The only time I was let out was to go to work and he would drive me there and pick me up so I couldn't run away. One night we had a massive argument about how he knew I loved Shawn and he slapped me. Before then he had never laid a hand on me but after that night Jacob believed he could do what he wanted to me whenever he wanted. He would take out all his anger on me that he had built up from the day and he would beat me until I passed out and he would just watch me bleed half to death. Every single day...For six months.

It's not just that...My Dad died when I was seven in a car crash and my mum got even more depressed than she already was. She got drunk every night and would blame Dad's death on me. I ran away from home at fourteen and I lived on the streets for a couple of months and then Shawn found me. He saved my life. I was at deaths door and his family took me in and raised me until I met Jacob.

I began  to type my message to Shawn.

Y/N: You don't need to worry about me anymore. I will be out of your life soon and you can move on. All I want you to know before I go is that I love you...Shawn I love you so fucking much, more than you could ever understand. Every day I see you my hear breaks a little bit more because I know you never love me in that way. That's why I got with Jacob. I wanted to forget about you but it didn't work. I still love you. Don't forget that. None of this was your fault. If anything you were the only one keeping me alive and sane through all of this. I can't do it anymore Shawn...Every feeling I felt has gone numb. I'm sorry. Thank you for everything.

Y/N❤

I put my phone beside me and I climbed into the bath fully dressed. My phone buzzed and I unlocked it revealing a few texts from Shawn.

Shawn: Please don't do anything stupid. I'm coming to yours. Just wait for me.❤
Shawn: I can't live without you Y/N. Please don't do this. You are my whole world. Without you I am nothing.❤
Shawn: Just hold on. I'm nearly there.❤

I locked my phone and open the small box. I took out one of the metal blades  and dropped the remainder blades from the box on the bathroom floor. I held the small metal object against my bare skin on my wrist and a few tears rolled down my face. I breathed in deeply and made the first cut. I gripped my wrist and cried. What did I do to deserve this?

As I began the second cut I heard my front door unlock and I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I forgot I gave him a key. I grabbed the bottom of my T-shirt and covered up my wrist with it. Shawn ran into the room and stared at me.
"Y/N?" He choked,"What have you done?"

A/N

Part one of a two part Imagine. I hope you liked this. Please vote and comment.

If you ever feel depressed feel free to message me.

Bye❤