Shawn Mendes Imagines

Unkiss me

Your POV

"Shawn, what is wrong with me? Why have you stopped loving me? What did I do wrong?" I sighed, emotionally exhausted, "It just doesn't feel the same anymore...What could I have possibly done for you to loose your love for me?"
"What do you mean? I still l-love you Y/N!" He made a weird face as he said those words.
He stepped closer and placed his hands on my cheeks. He lent in, awkwardly, and kissed me.
"See!" He sighed, "I...I still l-love you."
"You do know you don't have to love me. I'm not going to blame you for falling out of love with me. Just tell me...Is there someone else?" I slumped down on the sofa and looked up at him.
"No...It's just..." He rubbed his temples.

He stood in silence for a few seconds.
"If you respect me Shawn, don't protect me from this. This is hurting so much more than it would if you just told me straight up." I stood up and stood a few feet away from him, "You can tell me...I can handle it."
"I..." He sopped for thought again.
"Shawn just please stop pretending everything is okay. Everything between us is far from okay and you and I both know it! We both know where this is leading Shawn." I paused and breathed in deeply, "We are going down..."
"I don't really know how to explain how I feel." He chocked.
"Gees Shawn this is just a never ending run around. I want you to say it okay. Tell me you don't love me anymore. We can both feel that this relationship has grown to feel wrong. We can't do this. I love you with all my heart Shawn but this just isn't healthy. I feel terrible every day and I hate feeling this way." I let out all of my emotions at once, "Please Shawn I'm begging you. Just don't act like I mean nothing. You loved me once now do the right thing. Unkiss me Shawn...Untouch me...Unlove me. You are over us Shawn."
Shawn looked down at me, in shock. We both stood in silence for awhile, just taking in our thoughts.

"I'm so sorry Y/N." He said, finally.
"How long Shawn...?" I frowned.
"I've felt like this for quite a while now. Maybe 2 months or something like that." His words hit me in the heart, like a thousand daggers all at once.

The wind whistled outside and the rain pounded on every surface as I turned away from my once lover and walked towards the balcony. I unlocked the door and walked outside, tears close to falling down my red cheeks. I felt embarrassed. The past couple of months I held on, I pushed all of the negative thoughts and feelings to the back of my mind, thinking that I was just overreacting like usual. I looked up at the gloomy, dark grey clouds and allowed the rain to mix with my salty tears, now flowing freely down my cheeks. I felt so stupid! I was so stupid! Why did I still feel something? I knew this was going to happen, I was prepared for this...But still my heart had been shattered into thousands of tiny fragments.

I felt a presence behind me, "Y/N, are you okay?"
I quickly wiped my face and coughed slightly, "Yeah I'm fine Shawn, honestly."
I lied again. I wasn't okay. I was far from okay. I was broken.
"No you are not Y/N, talk to me." Shawn rubbed my shoulder and I forcefully pushed his hand away.
"Okay...It's disrespectful how you have handled all of this Shawn. I lied to my heart for months because I thought I was being stupid. You kept me holding on. I could feel that you were over us months ago but I wanted to hear you say it, so I waited...And waited...And waited! But you didn't care about how this all made me feel, did you? I bet you didn't even think about how much I was hurting, did you? You didn't have to love me, no one was forcing you." I sobbed, "Did you ever love me? I-If I hadn't have bought this all up tonight...Would you have even said anything?"

I waited for him to answer, but the deafening silence told me more than any words ever could. As I stood, in the poring rain, my heart broke into even tinier fragments. I never knew someone that I loved so much could hurt me like that...

"I'll go..." Shawn sighed, a single tear rolled down his face, "And yes I did love you and I can't help how I feel. I never wanted to hurt you. I'm so sorry Y/N. Goodbye..."
I couldn't turn around to look and him. I was too weak. I couldn't handle it.

Without another word said, I heard Shawn grab his bag and throw in a few items. I turned and looked at him through the window. He zipped up his bag and made his way down the hall. I followed behind, slowly, and he unlocked the door. He walked out, without turning back, and closed the door.

The moment the door clicked shut, I fell to the floor. I was a sobbing mess. I knew that it was the best thing for us both. But it didn't feel like it...

It hurt like hell...