{10:37 am • 6/6/17}
There's a good thing in all of this I guess
I don't have to worry about myself anymore for others not to be mad at me
I don't have to put the effort in
Into caring for myself
I don't need to worry about eating cause I need to lose weight anyways and I don't like food much anymore unless I have cravings
I don't need sleep cause I don't care to look nice anymore
Bags are fashion right?
Who cares if my lips are chapped from dehydration
I'm not using them anymore
Who cares if I shave every few days
Stubble doesn't matter
No one is going to want to touch me
Nor will I let anyone touch me again
I have so many nightmares of getting hit and yelled at and pushed and picked up
I hate getting picked up
I'm small
But big
And heavy
But then from up high I'm thrown down
I'm stepped on
I can't take anyone to touch me anymore
No more
I'd rather be cold forever
I'm used to it I'm a jersey bird
Cold is good
Cold is safe
Cold in lonely
Cold is good
No more touching
No more talking
I'm done
Enough
I need to go back
Old me was better
Out of everyone's way
Everyone's mind
Not a bother
Quiet
Nonexistent
No more me
I need to hide
No more
Just hide
No more touching or hugging or kissing or laughing or hand holding and absolutely no more picking up
I hate it
I hate so much now
I loved it
I hate it
No more
Don't touch me
Don't talk to me
I'm going back
I need to hide
I can't take anymore
No more
Please oh please
I beg you no more
Please go away nightmares
Medicine doesn't help
Alcohol doesn't help
Therapy doesn't help
Venting doesn't help
Nothing help
It keep getting worse
I wake up crying and screaming and kicking
I fell
It hurts
No more
Only sleep from every form of deprivation
That way your brain isn't capable of dreams
Or nightmares in my case
No more
Just no more
Please
No more
Go away
But first lock this box for me
No more
Please
It hurts too much
No. More.
Anything.
YOU ARE READING
Vents : In A Book.
Non-FictionIts a book. Full of vents. It probably wont really make much sense but it'll be like quotes or sometimes poems. Whatever mood I am in. Its supposed to help me feel better... Idk why. I'm usually in a bad or sad mood so yeah... But this will be from...
