Insecurities, and then the bad boy

Chapter 1- Insecure

(Warning in future chapters there might be minor violence and a little self-harm. If you are sensitive to the topics please don't read.)
(Also if there is music at the top listen to it because it associates with the chapter!)

Darkness it consumes people every now and then. But for me.
Every day.
Every day the darkness consumes me.
Most nights I just break down crying because I know that no matter what, things will never be the same.

Flashback

I was 10 years old in the car with my dad and older brother who was 13.

He was the best brother and my father was an amazing father. They both loved me so much. My mom loved me to but she favored my brother, which at that time I wasn't aware of her thinking that.

We were in the car singing and I told my dad to turn the radio down because I had to say something. He looked down but dropped something so he tried to pick it up. Then I heard a smash, my ears started to ring and everything went black...

I was in a coma for 2 weeks, I turned out to be fine though. But when I woke up the doctor told me, my dad and brother didn't make it. That was my first heartbreak.

I went home with mom and the first week she comforted me because I kept crying and saying it was my fault. My mom said everything would be ok but when I finally told her what happened in the car she suddenly started ignoring me. Then one day when I was 11 she snapped at me and started yelling at me and saying I was a failure and I should have died in the car instead of my father and brother.
That was my second heartbreak.

Then at school when I was 11 I became known as the geek and weirdo because I avoided my friends for 2 days, but it was because I was sad that my mom hated me. Everyone hated me and bullied me including my use-to-be friends.
That was my third heartbreak.

End Of Flashback

It all hurts so much.
But it's ok, I'm used to it.

I'll stay strong for now, I guess.

But how much can someone really take before they need it to stop?

...