Insecurities, and then the bad boy

Chapter 25- I hate you, I love you

It's been three weeks since that day and Jason hasn't talked to me since. I know Mason said only two weeks and school is done but we haven't broke up yet. I don't know why but I can't bring myself to do it. He treats me like shit but he also understands my feelings and that feels great to know someone thinks and feels like you. I haven't stop cutting myself since that day. I do it about every other day. No one notices since I wear long sleeves. Sophia and John are so excited and can't wait to know which college me and Jason go to. They don't expect the best like my mom but I can tell their antsy about where I'll go since I get amazing grades. We are supposed to find out where we're going in about 2 weeks and I'm excited, it means I'll be away from this awful city I call home.

It's a Thursday and I'm supposed to meet Mason at Walnut Park, that's two blocks from my house. (Whenever I say house I mean the one I live in now, not the old one.) He said to look nice so I put on my blue long sleeved crop top and short shorts. I put on the makeup he likes me to wear most of the time. (Btw this is a different picture than the other one)

I walk to the park. I haven't eaten much since Mason became my boyfriend because he says I'm not skinny enough. I feel like I have to please him, just like I did with my mom, I don't know why but I do.

When I get to the park I'm 5 minutes early so I go on the swings. I could have sworn there was someone watching me swing but every time I looked back there was no one. The only people at the park today are a couple with a little girl and there in front of me and not staring at me.

I see Mason park his car and get out. He looks really frustrated and I don't like that because that means his bad side will come out today. I feel like whenever he sees me it's just to relieve his stress. I don't know what his stress is or why he is putting it out on me but I don't care. It's like I'm losing my feelings again.

I get off of the swing and hurry to him quickly grabbing my bag. I try to hug him but he just pulls me into a kiss. I kiss him back because I know if I don't he'll get mad at me. I try to pull away but he doesn't let me, instead he deepens the kiss and I feel disgusted. After another minute of his gross kissing he let's go of me.

Mason: "Hi." He says looking around nervously.

Winter: "Are you okay Mason?"

Mason: "Yeah. Don't ask again by the way." I nod and pull out what was in my bag.

Winter: "Look I made you cupcake! It has strawberry filling in it, your favorite." I say with a smile even though I want to cry, but I don't because if I frown or cry, he says I'm even uglier that way. He takes it and eats it shoving it down his throat.

Mason: "Mmmh. Nice cupcake babe." I nod and he stops looking around eyeing something behind me. I try to look behind me but he stops my head from turning and faces it back to him. He looks me in the eye this time. "Kiss me and don't stop until I stop, do you understand?"

Winter: "But Mason we just kissed, can't we walk and talk or something?" He glares at me and I kiss him. Not deep like he likes it but softly because I always need to wash the feeling of his lips off after I kiss him and I don't want to scrub this time. He of course doesn't care about what I want and deepens the kiss. He tries to put his tongue in my mouth but I back away.

Mason: "What was that?!" He tells and I realize the couple and the baby are gone. I look at the ground and start shuddering.

Winter: "I-I-" But he cuts me off.

Mason: "Gosh Winter. Why didn't you just do what I freaking said?! Huh!!" He comes closer to me yelling. "And I can escalate the kiss if I want to." He says harshly in my ear. I nod and someone jerks Mason away from me.

Maria: "Who the hell do you think you are doing that to someone?" Maria says to Mason eyeing him angrily.

Mason: "Excuse me? I'm her boyfriend!" Maria rolls her eyes.

Maria: "Go away, we're having girl time now." He sighs in frustration and walks away getting into his car. Once he is gone I avoid Maria's eyes and look anywhere but her. "So, you've been avoiding me for 3 weeks. Why? And why the hell did you break up with Jason? And I mean for Mason?!! Mason is an a-hole and doesn't deserve you. Just look at why he just did to you!"

Winter: "He's nice to me okay." Maria grunts.

Maria: "No he's not! I've seen you and him at other places okay! He doesn't treat you right! He is a douche! Dump him and go back to Jason."

Winter: "You don't know what happened okay! Mason saved me! Jason just used me!" I yell back and she has a look of pity and anger on her face.

Maria: "Are you serious right now Winter? That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. You feel bad for yourself don't you? Well guess what! Jason is not in a good state right now! He's been smoking and drinking a lot even though he hates those things! I know what he did at the party, that was the first time he drank in awhile. He hasn't been doing good since the break up and you think that he has all the flaws but your wrong! You have flaws to and Jason put them past you and focused on the good stuff you do. How could you let a good thing like that go? Oh and by the way me and Garret are together now, but you couldn't have known that because of your sudden change. You should do the right thing for yourself and break up with Mason. I don't know why you would want him but that's messed up." Maria's outburst surprised me and I stood there for about 30 minutes thinking. She left after she said that but I couldn't bother to move. I thought about Jason. I really do like him a lot and Maria's right I have flaws to. But the cold hard truth is, I hate him and I love him. And it hurts.

After 30 minutes I started walking home. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and the next thing I know I see a flash of light and I'm knocked out.

*** What happened?
Will Winter and Jason get back together?
Will Winter break up with Mason and if so how will he take it?
Have a good week!
Love ya!!***