You Are My Sunshine (Jakesy)

Postnatal Depression

Apologies for this taking forever, I was on my final teaching prac for 10 weeks but I passed and in 3 months I'll be a qualified teacher! I hope you are all still enjoying my story 😊

Recap:
Jake's P.O.V

I put my arm around her and kissed her temple, "Baby I want to talk to you about something"

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Jesy's P.O.V

I looked up at him, "What is it?"

He rubbed my arm, "I think that we should go to the doctors and see if we can talk to a psychologist about this"

I welled up, "About what? How I'm a shit mam?"

He shook his head and hugged me tighter, "Baby, you are not a shit mam. I think that you could have postnatal depression or something like that and I just think talking to a psychologist could help"

I looked down and nodded. Jake pulled me onto his lap and hugged me, "I think you're an amazing mam"

I sighed, "I left her all alone"

"Jess, everyone does that at some point", he lifted my chin and kissed me softly, "I love you"

I smiled a bit, "I love you too"

"Want me to book you an appointment with the doctor?"

I looked down, "What if she thinks I'm a bad mam?"

"Babe, so many mams go through this. I'm sure she'll just want to help"

I looked at him, "Will you come with me?"

He smiled and nodded, "Of course I will"

I nodded, "Okay"

He hugged me tight and kissed my head, "I'll go book us an appointment". He got up and went to the kitchen to ring the doctor.

----- LATER THAT DAY -------

"Jessica Roche?"

I stood up and held Jake's hand as we followed the young woman into her office. We all sat down and she smiled, "Hi, you must be Jessica"

I nodded and smiled, "Jesy and this is my husband, Jake and our daughter Lillian"

"It's lovely to meet you. I'm Dr. Washington but you can call me Lana". She looked at Lillian in her carrier and smiled, "Hi Lillian, aren't you a gorgeous little girl" she rubbed her foot then looked back at me. "So, I understand that you've been struggling a bit since Lillian was born?"

I nodded, "I feel overwhelmed all the time to the point where I just feel numb. I get irritated easily and this morning I got so overwhelmed that I left her in her crib and cried outside". I felt ashamed and looked down, "I love her so much, I just feel like I'm not good enough to be her mam" I sighed.

"You're most definitely good enough to be her mam" she smiled, "It's common to have those feelings as a new mother"

"It is?"

She nodded, "I think that you are suffering from postnatal depression, so I'm going to refer you to a psychologist and give you some information on ways you can manage your anxiety when you feel overwhelmed" 

Jake squeezed my hand gently and I nodded. The doctor printed out some information sheets and a referral.

"I want you to know that this will go away and that Jake and Lillian are really lucky to have you" she smiled politely and passed me the papers.

"Thank you" I took them from her.

"My pleasure. I hope that you start feeling better soon so you can enjoy this beautiful little girl" she smiled at Lillian then stood up and walked us out.

Jake strapped Lillian into her car seat and I sat in the back next to her. I rang the psychologists number and booked an appointment for a weeks time. Jake pulled into the drive way and turned to look at me, "I'm really proud of you babe, I know you were scared but this is going to help you be yourself again". He took my hand and kissed it, "The doctor was right, we are really lucky to have you"

I smiled slightly and leant forward to peck his lips, "I love you"

"I love you more" he smiled and kissed me again.