Sad to Belong

Chapter 39

"Where are you taking me Blaise?". Saige broke the silence between them. Kanina pa kasi nagmamaneho si Blaise ngunit hindi man lang niya ipinaalam sa dalaga kung saan sila pupunta. Alas singko y medya na ng gabi at wala rin siyang kaide-ideya kung saan sila pupunta dahil madilim na rin ang kanilang paligid.

"We're nearly there Piper." He replied and smiled. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa rin kaya ni Saige ang tumingin sa binata dahil sa hiya. They still haven't talked about what happened since they left their place kaya't hindi alam ng dalaga kung ano ang sasabihin sa binata. Kung hindi nga lang siya pinilit ng binata na sumakay sa sasakyan nito ay wala siya rito ngayon sa loob, not knowing what to say nor feel. Terrence was trying to call her earlier ngunit sinadya niyang huwag itong sagutin dahil pakiramdam niya'y malalaman ng binata kung ano'ng nangyari.

Mga sampung minuto na ang nakalipas ng biglang tumigil ang sasakyan. She looked around from the inside of the car and realised na nasa sementeryo sila. Bigla naman siyang nagtaka kung bakit nandito sila. It's the last place she thinks that they're going to be at.

"Why are we here Blaise?" tanong ng dalaga without looking at him.

"You'll see. Come on." Yaya ng binata saka siya pinagbuksan ng pintuan ng sasakyan.

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Matapos ang ilang minutong paghahanap ni E.J sa loob ng bar ay nahanap niya rin ang taong pinunta niya rito. Mabuti nalang ay humiwalay na sakanya si Ryder ng mamataang nahanap niya na ang kanyang ina. Sana lang ay maging madali at maayos ang magiging usapan ngayong gabi.

"Dito lang pala kita mahahanap." E.J said as he sits next to her sa counter ng bar. Um-order na rin siya ng kalahating baso ng bourbon. Hindi naman siguro siya nito sosobra sa breath test kung sakali. Tama nga siya, ito nga ang kanyang ina. As he looks at her, alam niyang malaki ang pinagbago nito. She doesn't look as healthy unlike before. He can also see, despite of the dim lights inside the bar, the hollowness and the bags under her eyes. Seeing her in this state hurts him because this is not the sight he's been longing to see when he is going to meet his mother after a long time. At heto na nga siya ngayon, kaharap ang taong akala niya'y napakalakas at kayang harapin ang anumang pagsubok sa buhay. Pero baka nga talaga'y may hangganan rin ang kakayanan ng ibang tao. He's never seen her like this before. Ni hindi nga niya naisip na magkakaganito ang kanilang ina. Not in a million years.

"My son." She whispered but somehow, naintindihan ng binata kung ano'ng sinabi niya. There's no affection nor gladness in her eyes. Here he is, thinking she'll be surprised by his presence. That she'll come running to him once they met since they haven't talked and seen each other for almost two years. Isn't that what it's suppose to be kapag matagal mo ng hindi nakikita ang mahal mo sa buhay? Pero bakit naiiba ang kanilang ina? Kahit isang simpleng pilit na ngiti o yakap man lang sana...So with all his might, E.J blocked and pushed his feelings away dahil ngayon palang ay alam niya ng walang patutunguhan ang mga ito kung magpapadala siya sa mga ito. She's no longer the mother that they used to adore and love. This one in front of him is clearly a stranger. Sometimes, he wonders what will become of them now... babalik ba silang lahat kagaya ng dati? Will they become the family that they once were and try to work on their shortcomings from one another? And he clearly knows now na ang sagot sa kanyang mga tanong ay isang malaking hindi. Maybe they can work on that ngayong kasama na nila si Zayelee but not with their mother. Ngayon, kumbinsidong-kumbinsido na siyang isasama nila si Zayelee sa Maynila pagkatapos ng kanilang bakasyon. He doesn't care kung ayaw ng kanilang bunsong kapatid na sumama dahil sa pagbabakasakali nitong umuwi ang kanilang ina. She may go back home but not as she was. Kung siya mismo ang kailangang pumatay sa natitirang pag-asa ni Zayelee na magbago at umuwi na ang kanilang ina ay buong-puso niya itong gagawin. He'll make her understand why...Because you can never fix the heart of the people who were left by a loved one. Once they're gone, a part of you goes with them too. But you can always do something about how you let that pain and emptiness dictate and reign over you. You can either slowly get back up on your feet or not at all.