Sad to Belong

Chapter 29

"Enjoying the view?" tanong ni Pierce mula sa likuran niya. Muntik niya ng maibuga ang iniinom na tubig dahil hindi niya inaakalang nasa likuran niya ito. Akala niya'y sumama iyon kanina kay Ryder.

"Yeah! I mean, the sunset is so magical, don't you think?" she said saka ipinatong ang baso ng tubig sa lamesa. Nakita niyang kakarating lang ni Ryder bitbit ang mga bags ng marshmallows.

"Yeah. I should take mum and my sister here one day. They'd like it here surely." He replied habang nilalaro ang sticks na gagamitin nila para sa pag-ihaw ng marshmallows mamaya.

"Oo naman. Who wouldn't? If...you don't mind me asking, bakit hindi mo kasama ang family mo rito sa Pilipinas?" Zayelee is somehow proud of herself dahil nakakaya niya ng makipag-usap sa binata. Her subconscious must be following Saige's advice.

"I just decided to come back here three years ago for a visit but obviously, Philippines' must've done something to make me stay this long." He replied with a chuckle. 

Napansin naman ng dalaga na iniwasan nitong sagutin ang kanyang tanong kaya't hinayaan niya nalang ito. Baka naman it's something private at ayos lang para sa kanya dahil naiintindihan niya naman ito. "Must be my brothers too."

"Oh, definitely. I wouldn't have survived Manila without them." Naging tahimik silang dalawa for a few minutes saka muling nagsalita ang binata.

"Why do you always look so... pre-occupied?" nabigla ang dalaga sa tinanong ng binata kung kaya't napatingin siya rito. Lingid pala sa kaalaman niya'y nakatingin na ito sa kanya kanina pa. "If you don't want to answer, it's okay. It's probably too personal to ask."

"No, it's uhm... okay." She replied ng nakakunot ang noo. Niyakap ni Zayelee ang sarili dahil sa lamig na dala ng hangin. Hindi niya maintindihan kung bakit nakahubad pa rin ang mga lalaki samantalang panay ang ihip ng hangin. Napansin niya ring maging si Saige ay nilalamig na. Napangiti naman siya ng kaonti dahil ibinigay ng kanyang kuya Blaise dito ang kaninang suot niyang t-shirt. Si kuya, pasimple! Naisip niyang napaka-unfair naman siguro sa parte ni Pierce kung hindi niya sasagutin ang tanong nito. He answered her question so, why won't she? Pero napaka-personal naman ng tanong niya and besides, bakit ganito siya kung maka-tanong? Ang straightforward naman yata? "I just have a lot to think of that's all. As you can see, my dad passed away and it's a lot to take in, even it's been a year since he...left us." She can't believe, once again na nakayanan niyang sabihin ito sa binata without shedding a tear. They're both looking at their friends na nagkukulitan ngayon, nagtatawanan at nagsasayawan sa tugtog na mula sa cellphone ng isa sa kanila. Zayelee couldn't make out kung sino sa kanila ang nag-umpisa noon dahil lumalalim na rin ang gabi.

"My condolences to you, Z.J. It must be really hard especially for you. I've seen how your brothers grieve and I feel so sorry for them. I was surprised you see, because it wasn't like them at all. How did you deal with it?" Malumanay na tanong ng binata. He knew he's being too personal with his questions but he can't help it. He doesn't understand why he has this 'need' to know her personally. Napansin niyang nagulat muli ang dalaga sa tanong niya at ang tawag niya rito. It's the first time he called her by her name at hindi ito kagaya sa tawag sa kanya ng mga kaibigan niya. Somehow, he wants to call her differently than others. Ugh, way to go Pierce. Z.J? really? She'll think you're making a move on her or something! She exactly don't need that and you know it! Pinagalitan ng binata ang sarili. Sana ay hindi mag-isip ang dalaga ng kung ano! He just wanted to help her. What is she thinking?

"T-thanks... I don't know how actually. Maybe I just woke up one day and agreed with myself to live with the idea that he's gone... but I can never accept it. I'll probably have to deal and live with that awful idea and the pain that comes along with it for the rest of my life. And it's okay."

Pierce winced as he heard her say those words. He can feel the pain just by how she said it. It was full of emotions and emptiness at the same time. Napakababaw tuloy ng tingin niya sa sarili dahil lamang sa naghiwalay ang kanyang mga magulang. Here he is, escaping his reality. Napaka-duwag ng tingin niya ngayon sa sarili after hearing her. Yes, divorce is hard and unacceptable pero may tsansa pa siyang makita ang kanyang mga magulang but her? No, she won't. Forever.

"You know what, you're very strong. And I'm not saying this because I feel like you need to but because you... you really are." He replied and looked at her once again. Nakatingin ito ng diretso sa dalampasigan. He just wanted to know what she's thinking. Should he ask her? But how can he without sounding so desperate or like a tsismoso? He knows that apart from her father, she's also dealing with another heartbreak. He heard all these stories about her but he really wanted to hear it from her viewpoint. What is wrong with me? This is fvcking too much!

"Thanks, I guess." She replied and offered him a small smile. She just talked to him! In a very personal way too! Oh, how can I? Why did I tell him all those things?! And he called me Z.J!!! No one ever called me that! It's either Zayelee, Zaye, Lee, Lé or Jerri lang ang ginagamit nila! What does this mean?! Zayelee tried consoling herself na baka trip lang siyang tawaging ganon ng binata and not to make such a big of a deal with it.

Laking pasalamat nalang ng dalaga ng tinawag sila ni Riordan! Kasi kung hindi, hindi niya alam kung ano ang gagawin niya. Pero bago pa man siya tuluyang makaalis ay may sinabing muli ang binata na mas lalong nagpagulo sa kanyang isipan.

"Z.J, you can talk to me whenever you want. With everything...as friends." As she looked at him, she can see sincerity in his eyes and something else. What it is, she doesn't know.