Special Needs

Chapter 22: The Search

I began searching the web to find out about legal rights for kids with intellectual disability and how those rights changed when they became adults. This was the opening statement for the very first website I visited:

People with intellectual and/or developmental disabilities have the same basic legal, civil and human rights as other citizens. They may need accommodation, protection and support to enable them to exercise these rights. Their rights should never be limited or restricted without due process.

Well, that was a start. I knew all of this in my gut but I wanted to make sure I understood the legal implications clearly. Harry's rights were definitely being restricted, especially if Theodore chose to keep treating him like a child after he turned 18.

Like their peers without disabilities, individuals with ID must be presumed competent; they must also be assisted to develop as decision-makers through education, supports, and life experience. Communication challenges should not be misinterpreted as lack of competency to make decisions.

Okay, the law was on my side. But how could I use that to Harry's advantage? I wasn't a lawyer, and I had a feeling that Theodore wouldn't just let Harry waltz out of here when he was 18.

Where judges and lawyers lack knowledge about people with ID and their human rights, poor advocacy and tragic legal outcomes often result. Financial incentives frequently benefit professionals and guardianship corporations, often to the detriment of individuals with ID and their families.

This is what I feared, that maybe Theodore was manipulating Harry so he could get some kind of government kick-back because he had a disabled kid. He seemed wealthy enough on his own without having to resort to something so disgusting, but I'd seen enough of Theodore now to know he would exploit anyone or anything for his own personal gain. And I was determined to discover his hidden agenda.

"Whatcha doing?" Harry asked as he joined me on the couch. I quickly closed my laptop and said, "Nothing. Would you like some dinner?"

"Can I cook?" He asked, his eyes dancing with eagerness.

"Of course! Do you want to learn how to make spaghetti?"

"Yes!" He answered, beaming with pride. I loved that his heart was so resilient. I knew he still had to have some residual hurt inside from the way Theodore treated him, not only after the meeting we just had, but throughout his life. I wanted to get inside and help to heal those wounds, but I wasn't sure how just yet. It's one thing for a kid to be hurt by a parent, but it's another for someone like me to step in and say, Hey your father is an asshole and I know he treats you like shit. It was important for him to know that Theodore's treatment of him was unacceptable but I had to be very diplomatic about my approach.

I showed Harry how to boil the water for the noodles, taking the time to explain that with things like eggs and rice, you put them in the cold water and bring them to a boil, but with pasta, you had to wait til the water was already boiling before adding it.

He carefully slipped the long stems of pasta into the boiling water and stirred as they went limp and fell into the pot. To make things easy, we used a jar of spaghetti sauce, but I promised that the next time I went shopping, I'd buy ingredients to make the sauce from scratch.

After dinner, we made a list of all the different things Harry wanted to learn how to cook and we stuck it to the front of the refrigerator so I could either remember to buy ingredients when I went out, or we could ask someone to buy them for us.

That night, I tossed and turned for hours, so frustrated at Theodore for being so pigheaded about all of this. If it weren't for the fact that I loved Harry and cared so deeply for him, I might have left this job already, contract or no contract. But how could I leave anyone in such an unfair situation? What were Theodore's long terms plans for him? Wouldn't he be better off if he just let Harry grow up and move away, rather than going to all this trouble to hide him?